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In my screenplays - from the very beginning I've always used tape. I talk my screenplays. And then have somebody transcribe them.
Albert Brooks -
If your last name is Christ, don't name your son Jesus.
Albert Brooks
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If you paint, write, do mosaics, knit - if it's solving that part of your brain saying, 'I need to do this,' you've won.
Albert Brooks -
I like the acting. It's how I started, and I sort of feel that if I don't give it a little shot now, and I go back, then I'm pretty much done with it. I mean, at what age am I going to do it at? Although, when you see Christopher Plummer and Max von Sydow doing it, I guess the answer is 80.
Albert Brooks -
If you're going to act and do this for a living, you want to play something that the audience didn't expect.
Albert Brooks -
There's always the standard six people you can hire that have played all these villains in Hollywood. Instinctively, when they come on screen, you know what's going to happen. You don't know the story, but you know what they do.
Albert Brooks -
Twitter is the Devil's playground.
Albert Brooks -
I can't not put humor in a book.
Albert Brooks
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I had a very wise person tell me that he thinks marriage, when you're younger, you keep thinking you can fix things. That's what people do. And you can't really fix anything. It shouldn't be a massive difficult thing every day. Life's difficult enough.
Albert Brooks -
I've always been the king of silence. I've always been a minimalist comedian. I've taken my influence from Jack Benny, who was the king of that... I've always done 'less is more.'
Albert Brooks -
Wouldn't it be great if cars came equipped with screens like that thing they have in Times Square that spells out the news? You could punch out your own instant messages: 'Will the small red car with the ugly driver please stay a little further behind?'
Albert Brooks -
I'd still like to see 'Survivor' minus the planned show-biz parts. That would be the purest form of show business - I want to see someone so hungry that they eat somebody else's foot.
Albert Brooks -
If people don't love what you're doing, that doesn't mean you're wrong.
Albert Brooks -
My friend Harry Nilsson used to say the definition of an artist was someone who rode way ahead of the herd and was sort of the lookout. Now you don't have to be that, to be an artist. You can be right smack-dab in the middle of the herd. If you are, you'll be the richest.
Albert Brooks
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You know, I became a director out of necessity. I was writing comedies, and I couldn't find anybody to deliver it correctly.
Albert Brooks -
The idea behind 'Defending Your Life': Imagine if you had to sit in a courtroom and watch your life. I don't care who you are - if you committed a crime and you had to have all of your emails searched and made public, who on this planet could survive that? Nobody.
Albert Brooks -
I'm a strong fellow.
Albert Brooks -
I'm not a big fan of the post-Armageddon stories, where Denzel Washington is walking around in a torn coat.
Albert Brooks -
When I audition, I understand what it takes and the insecurities that come with it. If I do anything, I put actors at ease. I used to tell directors who weren't actors, the best thing they could do was take an acting class for a couple of months. Just to understand.
Albert Brooks -
If you look at the best-seller list for American fiction, they're all sequels to detective stories or stories about hunting serial killers. That's what's called American fiction these days.
Albert Brooks
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I guess 'The Player' was a pretty good L.A. movie. And 'Chinatown.' Was there ever a better L.A. movie about a certain period in L.A.? That was terrific.
Albert Brooks -
I don't want to be the one to break it to you, but the future ain't that funny.
Albert Brooks -
There are a few giant companies that I love, and I love Amazon. Their customer service is impeccable: sometimes, just for the hell of it, I'll sleep on a mattress for three years and return it.
Albert Brooks -
As an actor, if you're just sitting and staring and you don't know who you are in your own mind, it's vacant. And sometimes the camera is an X-ray machine, it can pick it up.
Albert Brooks