Alexandra Petri Quotes
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In society at large, nerds are law-abiding, caring, fundamentally good folk who keep the wheels of civilization grinding.
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Millennials don't go to rallies.
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How many stories do you know about people cooped up in places because of deep snowfall? How many stories where something good happens to those people?
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Being a person of faith is just another of a wide range of fun activities available to those who come to Harvard. When Harvard boasts to admitted students of its more than 40 religious groups, it does so in the same vein that it boasts of its nearly dozen a cappella groups.
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The worst thing that happens to you at college if you fail to get out of bed in time is that you will miss two hours of someone reading scintillating anecdotes about Medieval Ireland. The worst thing that happens to you in life if you fail to get out of bed in time is that you might lose your job as a first responder.
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YouTube is covered in comments that would be better expressed - and better spelled - via a simple thumbs-up or down.
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All children, except two, grow up: Peter Pan and Donald Trump Jr.
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I am a millennial. Destruction is all I know. I no longer care what I wipe from the face of the Earth.
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In high school, you at least have to get up at a reasonable hour and show up at places on time. College, on the other hand, gave me the sense that I could complete major assignments at 2 A.M. without suffering any repercussions, along with the erroneous idea that in real life, things started after one in the afternoon.
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Once you start worrying, it's hard to stop.
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Harvard prides itself on its diversity - economic, racial, social, geographical - but it remains intellectually segregated. It's not what conservative commentators seem to imagine - a bastion of liberal professors force-feeding radical opinions to a naive student body.
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Pleasure reading has long been an American ideal - generations of schoolchildren have headed home for the summer toting recreational reading lists. But try to pitch it to a group of non-readers, and they quickly become suspicious.
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A picture can hide as much as it reveals.
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I love Gene Weingarten's feature writing with the passion of a thousand suns.
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Every so often, when I am feeling plucky, I try to write a screenplay that combines all 10 of Americans' top phobias and market it as a sleeper hit.
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They will wrest 'dull words' from my cold dead hands.
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Once, as my New Year's Resolution, I telephoned the Extenze Male Enhancement hotline every day for a month.
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Harvard is nerd rehab. You have to check yourself in. Those who seek a school filled with self-proclaimed 'nerds,' seek elsewhere. Dropping the H bomb may brand you as an intellectual or a Kennedy. But it will not give you much nerd cred. And that's a good thing.
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Comedy and politics have a lot in common. Both are great ways to pick up chicks - just look at Governor Spitzer. Or Ellen Degeneres. Both require spending time on the road meeting strangers who often have the desire to throw things at you. Both are difficult, if not impossible, to do all alone. And both rely heavily on personality.
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One of the things I try to do - and I always regret when I'm not doing it - is I try to read as much as possible as I'm consuming news.
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A picture may be worth 1,000 words, but I think if the picture is made in MS Paint, the going rate might be slightly less.
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Snow is like a manic pixie dream girl: fun and whimsical when you encounter it only through the barrier of a movie screen - but absolute misery to have to put up with in real life.
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I swear like a sailor, assuming the sailor in question died in 1800 and was really square.
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Harvard pulsates with life and thought of all kinds, and religion should not be left out of its ongoing discussions.