Loni Love Quotes
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Men don't know how to act like men sometimes. Take the trash out. Open up the door. Rub my feet. I mean, it's a two-way street!
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People are getting picked up off the street and getting a show, and it's because we're not using the people that are trying to be entertainers - use more of them.
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I'm what you call a satisfied single. I don't want to give any trip reports when I come home.
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If you think about how many headlining female comics are out there, you could say 15, maybe 20?
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The late, great Joan Rivers actually gave me so much advice, and she was so nice to me before she passed.
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It's been a long haul. It may seem to some people that have never heard of me, 'Oh she just popped up on the scene,' but I've been working on this for some time.
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You men make up these rules, and now you get mad because I'm telling you what a real woman wants. She wants you to treat her like a lady if you want her to sit up there and put on all the lingerie!
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Mom was a nurse's aide. She worked in various hospitals. She took care of us that way, and we ate government cheese. I survived.
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Black women know that we've got to take care of it - so we take care of it. It's just embedded in us.
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Being in the Girl Scouts took me out of the projects environment and showed me different things.
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When we heard that little dial-up sound, that eeeeee, and then you connected, and you then go and you check your mail and you get that 'you got mail,' you were excited. I mean, that was the thing.
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What helped was that my mother, even though we didn't have a lot of money... allowed me to take part in the Girl Scouts.
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Everybody wants to say females aren't as funny as men. That's not true. You just don't see as many because it takes a lot to do this occupation.
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I do think the audiences have a right to judge what they feel is offensive and not.
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With comedy, I try to steer toward, you know, talking about people that do crazy things, messed-up things. That's what I like to talk about.
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'SNL' ain't been relevant since Jim Belushi. It's on every week; it's not funny. They need to find some black women to put on there to make it funny.
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Now AOL is the grandma of online Web services. I mean, we don't need it anymore.
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I tend to be everybody's best friend, and it kind of goes over into my comedy.
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It's always good to laugh.
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I used to be an engineer, and I was the worst engineer in the United States of America. That's why I became a comic.