Andy Rooney Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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Bush already gave obscene tax breaks to people like me and Warren Buffet, and we are saying it's not fair.
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I feel funny about owning art. I don't really want to say: 'Wow, come and see my Monet - it's in a dark room at the bottom of my cellar.'
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Scepticism, that dry caries of the intelligence.
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The regime is afraid of the people because it knows that free and fair elections will bring about its end.
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What I've learned is that you really don't need to be a celebrity or have money or have the paparazzi following you around to be famous.
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Moral authority is never retained by any attempt to hold on to it. It comes without seeking and is retained without effort.
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Times change. The farmer's daughter now tells jokes about the traveling salesman.
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I create from a place of passion. It's like a pregnancy, where you create from a place of passion, and then it grows, and then before you know it, you want to push that baby out.
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I just happen to have one of those skill sets that allows me to work in my underwear.
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I'm not a best-seller, but through translations, I've accumulated some money.
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I don't sit and write stand-up material; I come up with an idea onstage.
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Someday, I have no doubt, the dead from today's wars will be seen with a similar sense of sorrow at needless loss and folly as those millions of men who lie in the cemeteries of France and Belgium - and tens of millions of Americans will feel a similar revulsion for the politicians and generals who were so spendthrift with others' lives.
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Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
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I hold this to be the highest task for a bond between two people: that each protects the solitude of the other.
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The sad fact is that it would be fair to say that United is a generic, bureaucratic, tired company. A sort of DMV in the sky. No real culture. No real strategy. No real expectations for employees or customers. All of which is a shame.
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Stephen Colbert used to be my friend. I even signed the poor baby's cast when he hurt his hand.
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Biochemistry is the science of life. All our life processes - walking, talking, moving, feeding - are essentially chemical reactions. So biochemistry is actually the chemistry of life, and it's supremely interesting.
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What higher art does is to invite us in and allow us to make decisions.
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Any good teacher knows how important it is to connect with students and understand our culture.
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Education is either from nature, from man or from things. The developing of our faculties and organs is the education of nature; that of man is the application we learn to make of this very developing; and that of things is the experience we acquire in regard to the different objects by which we are affected. All that we have not at our birth, and that we stand in need of at the years of maturity, is the gift of education.
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You find out in life that people really like you funny. So what do you give 'em? Humor. And then if you show them the other side, they don't like you as much. I find, too, that I can hide behind the idiot's mask being funny, and you never see the sorrow or the pain.
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The main essentials of a successful prime minister are sleep and a sense of history.
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Success without happiness is failure.
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I've learned... that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.