Andy Rooney Quotes
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My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.
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Don't keep saying, "I don't know where the time goes." It goes the same place it's always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
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Ive had quite a few complaints lately from people who like it when I complain about things. They say I havent complained about anything lately. So tonight, for you complaint fans, I have a complaint.
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A little-recognized value of listening and inquiring relates to the realization that in human relationships, it is frequently not what the I've learned ... that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances: when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.
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Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.
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I hate to say it, but I had a great time in World War II.
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I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
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I've learned... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
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The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
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It is possible to be dumb and be a college president.
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A writer's job is to tell the truth.
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
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You're better off missing a bus or an airplane once in a while than you are getting there too early all the time.
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The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
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Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
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Some people who hated Americans set out to kill a lot of us and they succeeded [on 9/11]....We're trying to protect ourselves with more weapons. We have to do it, I guess, but it might be better if we figured out how to behave as a nation in a way that wouldn't make so many people in the world want to kill us.
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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
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I often pass a farm with cows grazing in the field and I think to myself how terrible it is that human beings grow other animals just to kill them and eat them. Most of us think of vegetarians as nuts and I'm not a vegetarian but I wouldn't be surprised if we came to a time in 50 or 100 years when civilized people everywhere refused to eat animals.
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I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.
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I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.
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I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.
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In a conversation, keep in mind that you're more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.
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Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.