Andy Rooney Quotes
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Don't keep saying, "I don't know where the time goes." It goes the same place it's always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
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Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do arithmetic without a computer.
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Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.
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I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?
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A little-recognized value of listening and inquiring relates to the realization that in human relationships, it is frequently not what the I've learned ... that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances: when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.
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I've learned .... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
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I've learned... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
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A writer's job is to tell the truth.
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The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
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I hate to say it, but I had a great time in World War II.
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Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
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It is possible to be dumb and be a college president.
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
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The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
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You're better off missing a bus or an airplane once in a while than you are getting there too early all the time.
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I often pass a farm with cows grazing in the field and I think to myself how terrible it is that human beings grow other animals just to kill them and eat them. Most of us think of vegetarians as nuts and I'm not a vegetarian but I wouldn't be surprised if we came to a time in 50 or 100 years when civilized people everywhere refused to eat animals.
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I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.
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When there are starving people in the world, it seems wrong that so many of us Americans eat as much for entertainment as for nourishment.
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One day about 10 years ago the door to my office opened and who walked in but Bill Gates.... Seemed like a nice guy and has done more with his money than most billionaires. But that's as far as I want to go being kind to Bill Gates.
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Some people who hated Americans set out to kill a lot of us and they succeeded [on 9/11]....We're trying to protect ourselves with more weapons. We have to do it, I guess, but it might be better if we figured out how to behave as a nation in a way that wouldn't make so many people in the world want to kill us.
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Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.
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I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.