Andy Rooney Quotes
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I've learned... that just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
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Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
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In a conversation, keep in mind that you're more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.
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Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn't hurt all the time.
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I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat.
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I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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Numbers tend to give the impression that there's more order in the world than there is.
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People like to say, "You're only as old as you feel," but it isn't true. It's just something old people say to make themselves feel good about their age. You're as old as you are.
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Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.
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In the United States alone, we spend seven times as much on war as on education. There's something wrong there. On this Memorial Day, we should certainly honor those who have died at war, but we should dedicate this day, not so much to their memory, but to the search for a way to end the idiocy of the wars that killed them.
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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
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The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
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Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do arithmetic without a computer.
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We should change our attitude toward the United Nations. There has to be some power in the world superior to our own. We should not have attacked Iraq without the okay of the United Nations. Now we have to live with that mistake. We're living with it, and too many of our guys are dying with it.
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Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.
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Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.
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Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.
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I've learned... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
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Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
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Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.
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I think a draft produces a better Army than the one we would have with all volunteers, because I think you get average Americans if you have a draft. And if it's an all-volunteer Army, you get people who join up because of some problem in their own lives. They don't have anything else to do, they don't have a job, or they can't find what they want to do, so they join the Army. And it doesn't produce the best Army.
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I've learned... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
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It's not so much that I write well, I just don't write badly very often and that passes for good on television.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.