Andy Rooney Quotes
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Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
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Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.
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I've learned... That when you're in love, it shows.
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I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
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It's not so much that I write well, I just don't write badly very often and that passes for good on television.
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Dogs are nicer than people.
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I just wish insignificance had more stature.
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The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
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A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.
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Conservatives are more religious than liberals--although there is no evidence that they're nicer people because of it.
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Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do arithmetic without a computer.
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When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
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Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.
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I wish people who sell things would stop trying to guess how many of something we want to buy. I want to buy things one at a time.
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Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
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In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.
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Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.
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A little-recognized value of listening and inquiring relates to the realization that in human relationships, it is frequently not what the I've learned ... that it is best to give advice in only two circumstances: when it is requested and when it is a life-threatening situation.
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My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.
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I am an atheist... I don't understand religion at all. I'm sure I'll offend a lot of people by saying this, but I think it's all nonsense.
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It is possible to be dumb and be a college president.
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Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.
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Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents.