Andy Rooney Quotes
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You can't be a good writer without being a good thinker.
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The last birthday that's any good is 23.
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I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.
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Dogs are nicer than people.
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We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.
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American closets are filled with once-worn clothes that got a bad review from a friend on their first appearance.
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I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you... More
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I wish people who sell things would stop trying to guess how many of something we want to buy. I want to buy things one at a time.
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I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
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When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
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I've learned... That when you're in love, it shows.
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Conservatives are more religious than liberals--although there is no evidence that they're nicer people because of it.
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The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
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... all of us talk faster than we listen.
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A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.
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Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents.
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Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
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Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do arithmetic without a computer.
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One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.
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Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.
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My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.
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Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.
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Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!