Andy Rooney Quotes
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Numbers tend to give the impression that there's more order in the world than there is.
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The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
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I never get over feeling bad about tearing open a beautifully wrapped present. It takes ten seconds to destroy a work of art that took someone ten minutes to accomplish.
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My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.
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You're better off missing a bus or an airplane once in a while than you are getting there too early all the time.
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I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.
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I've learned... That when you're in love, it shows.
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The last birthday that's any good is 23.
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Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
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I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
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A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.
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Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.
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Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
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When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
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In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.
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Dogs are nicer than people.
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I am an atheist... I don't understand religion at all. I'm sure I'll offend a lot of people by saying this, but I think it's all nonsense.
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... all of us talk faster than we listen.
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We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of lonliness. We need each other and we need to get away from each other. We need proximity and distance, conversation and silence. We almost always get more of each than we want at any one time.
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
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Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.
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Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do arithmetic without a computer.
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Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.