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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
Andy Rooney -
I've learned... that just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
Andy Rooney
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I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat.
Andy Rooney -
In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
Andy Rooney -
Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do arithmetic without a computer.
Andy Rooney -
I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
Andy Rooney -
Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
Andy Rooney -
Teachers who have plugged away at their jobs for twenty, thirty, and forty years are heroes. I suspect they know in their hearts they've done a good thing, too, and are more satisfied with themselves than most people are. Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
Andy Rooney
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Numbers tend to give the impression that there's more order in the world than there is.
Andy Rooney -
... all of us talk faster than we listen.
Andy Rooney -
Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
Andy Rooney -
The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
Andy Rooney -
Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.
Andy Rooney -
One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.
Andy Rooney
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Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn't hurt all the time.
Andy Rooney -
Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
Andy Rooney -
If you don't enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are you're not going to be happy. If someone bases his happiness or unhappiness on major events like a great new job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn't going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
Andy Rooney -
I've learned... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
Andy Rooney -
In the United States alone, we spend seven times as much on war as on education. There's something wrong there. On this Memorial Day, we should certainly honor those who have died at war, but we should dedicate this day, not so much to their memory, but to the search for a way to end the idiocy of the wars that killed them.
Andy Rooney -
I hate to say it, but I had a great time in World War II.
Andy Rooney
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
Andy Rooney -
I'd like to take some calculus, too. I have absolutely no ability in that direction and not much interest, either, but there's something going on in mathematics that I don't understand, and I'd like to find out what it is.
Andy Rooney -
Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.
Andy Rooney -
We should change our attitude toward the United Nations. There has to be some power in the world superior to our own. We should not have attacked Iraq without the okay of the United Nations. Now we have to live with that mistake. We're living with it, and too many of our guys are dying with it.
Andy Rooney