Andy Rooney Quotes
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Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
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Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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Most of us aren't that interested in getting rich- we just don't want to get poor.
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I hate to say it, but I had a great time in World War II.
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Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.
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I've learned... that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
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Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.
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The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty.
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... all of us talk faster than we listen.
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In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.
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We should change our attitude toward the United Nations. There has to be some power in the world superior to our own. We should not have attacked Iraq without the okay of the United Nations. Now we have to live with that mistake. We're living with it, and too many of our guys are dying with it.
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I never get over feeling bad about tearing open a beautifully wrapped present. It takes ten seconds to destroy a work of art that took someone ten minutes to accomplish.
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
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Before a kid learns how to use a computer that can solve mathematical problems, he or she should know how to do arithmetic without a computer.
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Don't keep saying, "I don't know where the time goes." It goes the same place it's always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
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The last birthday that's any good is 23.
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Nothing in fine print is ever good news.
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I'd like to take some calculus, too. I have absolutely no ability in that direction and not much interest, either, but there's something going on in mathematics that I don't understand, and I'd like to find out what it is.
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It's not so much that I write well, I just don't write badly very often and that passes for good on television.
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My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That's the way to get an idea.