Andy Rooney Quotes
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I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
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American closets are filled with once-worn clothes that got a bad review from a friend on their first appearance.
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Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
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You can't be a good writer without being a good thinker.
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When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
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I never understood retirement. What is the attraction of retirement? I go down there to Florida and look around and I said, my God, who wants this? Not me.
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I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.
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Being kind is more important than being right.
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Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
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I just wish insignificance had more stature.
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My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.
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I like Valentine's Day. The trouble is the florists and the candy-makers and the card people are all advertising so much, you don't dare let the day go by without making an offering, whether you mean it or not. Money exceeds affection.
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The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
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Everyone hates war, everyone says.
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In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.
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Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
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Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents.
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Conservatives are more religious than liberals--although there is no evidence that they're nicer people because of it.
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Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.
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I've learned... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
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I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.
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Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
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In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
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Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!