Andy Rooney Quotes
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In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
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Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no rich person behind. Voters approve of President Bush helping the kind of people they wish they were one of.
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Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.
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I've learned... That when you're in love, it shows.
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One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.
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A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.
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The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.
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I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
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You can't be a good writer without being a good thinker.
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Ugly is very popular this year...I had a feeling these clothes were deigned by someone who didn't like women.
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I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.
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We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
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Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
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I never understood retirement. What is the attraction of retirement? I go down there to Florida and look around and I said, my God, who wants this? Not me.
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Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents.
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Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn't hurt all the time.
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Small daily happenings make life spectacular.... start enjoying the small things in life!
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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
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Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.
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Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.