Andy Rooney Quotes
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It isn't working that's so hard, it's getting ready to work.
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As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.
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Ugly is very popular this year...I had a feeling these clothes were deigned by someone who didn't like women.
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I've learned... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
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I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat.
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Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.
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People like to say, "You're only as old as you feel," but it isn't true. It's just something old people say to make themselves feel good about their age. You're as old as you are.
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I never get over feeling bad about tearing open a beautifully wrapped present. It takes ten seconds to destroy a work of art that took someone ten minutes to accomplish.
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If you don't enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are you're not going to be happy. If someone bases his happiness or unhappiness on major events like a great new job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn't going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.
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I think a draft produces a better Army than the one we would have with all volunteers, because I think you get average Americans if you have a draft. And if it's an all-volunteer Army, you get people who join up because of some problem in their own lives. They don't have anything else to do, they don't have a job, or they can't find what they want to do, so they join the Army. And it doesn't produce the best Army.
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Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
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We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.
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Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
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A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.
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I've learned... that just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
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I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.
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I've learned... That when you're in love, it shows.
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I never understood retirement. What is the attraction of retirement? I go down there to Florida and look around and I said, my God, who wants this? Not me.
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Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.
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Conservatives are more religious than liberals--although there is no evidence that they're nicer people because of it.
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In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.
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I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.
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Do I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes - that's what I'm here for.
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Most college students are not as smart as most college presidents.