Andy Rooney Quotes
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Ugly is very popular this year...I had a feeling these clothes were deigned by someone who didn't like women.
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Small daily happenings make life spectacular.... start enjoying the small things in life!
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I just wish insignificance had more stature.
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I've learned... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
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Women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.
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I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.
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The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
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My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.
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I wish people who sell things would stop trying to guess how many of something we want to buy. I want to buy things one at a time.
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Dogs are nicer than people.
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Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.
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Conservatives are more religious than liberals--although there is no evidence that they're nicer people because of it.
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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
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In Washington, a confidential assistant is someone who, if you don't want to know something, you go and ask him and he won't tell you.
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I'd be more willing to accept religion, even if I didn't believe it, if I thought it made people nicer to each other but I don't think it does.
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The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty.
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We've sent a man to the moon and that's 29,000 miles away. The center of the Earth is only 4,000 miles away. You could drive that in a week but for some reason nobody's ever done it.
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As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.
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We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of lonliness. We need each other and we need to get away from each other. We need proximity and distance, conversation and silence. We almost always get more of each than we want at any one time.
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People like to say, "You're only as old as you feel," but it isn't true. It's just something old people say to make themselves feel good about their age. You're as old as you are.
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There is obviously a great human need for religion because life seems to be such a mystery.
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Don't keep saying, "I don't know where the time goes." It goes the same place it's always gone and no one has ever known where that is.
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Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.