Andy Rooney Quotes
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As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thing is we try the phone book.
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It's not so much that I write well, I just don't write badly very often and that passes for good on television.
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We're all torn between the desire for privacy and the fear of loneliness.
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I never understood retirement. What is the attraction of retirement? I go down there to Florida and look around and I said, my God, who wants this? Not me.
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I had one typewriter for 50 years, but I have bought seven computers in six years. I suppose that's why Bill Gates is rich, and Underwood is out of business.
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It's ridiculous for a country to get all worked up about a game—except the Super Bowl, of course. Now that's important.
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It isn't working that's so hard, it's getting ready to work.
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Don't you hate it when...your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
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The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
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I've learned... that just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
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I mean, the notion that we must love everything in this country or get out and go someplace else is ridiculous. I mean, if you -- the best thing a patriotic American can do is to look and be critical and find out what's wrong and try to make it better. That's what a patriotic American does.
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In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
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There is obviously a great human need for religion because life seems to be such a mystery.
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American closets are filled with once-worn clothes that got a bad review from a friend on their first appearance.
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We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.
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The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty.
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You can't be a good writer without being a good thinker.
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I am not retiring. Writers don't retire. Writers never stop writing.
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My advice is not to wait to be struck by an idea. If you're a writer, you sit down and damn well decide to have an idea. That's the way to get an idea.
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I just wish insignificance had more stature.
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I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I've got enough to eat.
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The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.
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I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you... More
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Once you pass forty, a dime isn't worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.