Andy Rooney Quotes
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When there are starving people in the world, it seems wrong that so many of us Americans eat as much for entertainment as for nourishment.
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I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
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One day about 10 years ago the door to my office opened and who walked in but Bill Gates.... Seemed like a nice guy and has done more with his money than most billionaires. But that's as far as I want to go being kind to Bill Gates.
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Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
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I've learned... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
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I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
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Why am I an atheist? I ask you: Why is anybody not an atheist? Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated. I resent anyone pushing their religion on me. I don't push my atheism on anybody else. Live and let live. Not many people practice that when it comes to religion.
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Where some people may see loving grandparents, I see a pair of feckless boobs who can't drive, take way too long to shop, and don't even have the most basic grasps on the new technology. As a staunch supporter of the principles of Darwinism, I think that advances in modern medicine are starting to overrule the survival of the fittest, and it's to our [youngers'] detriment.
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The teacher who knows the most about a subject isn't necessarily the one who can teach it best.
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One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.
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Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
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Did you ever notice that people who are good with a computer don't use it for much of anything except being good with a computer? They know all about information technology, but they don't have much interest in the information. I'm the opposite.
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I am interested in details. If you go into anything far enough, you get into the details of it, and people turn out to be interested in what makes things work.
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I like animals who trust people.
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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?". She doesn't care what you think.
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I've learned ... that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
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No one likes the house next door to look worse or a lot better than his own.
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It's best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it's requested, and when it's a life threatening situation.
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If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
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Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
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I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?
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Creativity is a by-product of hard work. If I never have another really new idea, it won't matter.
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Person-to-person, most people are honest.
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Numbers are the most certain things we have.