Andy Rooney Quotes
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You're better off missing a bus or an airplane once in a while than you are getting there too early all the time.
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Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.
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I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.
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Some people who hated Americans set out to kill a lot of us and they succeeded [on 9/11]....We're trying to protect ourselves with more weapons. We have to do it, I guess, but it might be better if we figured out how to behave as a nation in a way that wouldn't make so many people in the world want to kill us.
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Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
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Where some people may see loving grandparents, I see a pair of feckless boobs who can't drive, take way too long to shop, and don't even have the most basic grasps on the new technology. As a staunch supporter of the principles of Darwinism, I think that advances in modern medicine are starting to overrule the survival of the fittest, and it's to our [youngers'] detriment.
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I've learned ... that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
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I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
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No one likes the house next door to look worse or a lot better than his own.
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I am interested in details. If you go into anything far enough, you get into the details of it, and people turn out to be interested in what makes things work.
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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?". She doesn't care what you think.
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Why am I an atheist? I ask you: Why is anybody not an atheist? Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated. I resent anyone pushing their religion on me. I don't push my atheism on anybody else. Live and let live. Not many people practice that when it comes to religion.
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I don't think the government is out to get me or help someone else get me but it wouldn't surprise me if they were out to sell me something or help someone else sell me something. I mean, why else would the Census Bureau want to know my telephone number?
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Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
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Did you ever notice that people who are good with a computer don't use it for much of anything except being good with a computer? They know all about information technology, but they don't have much interest in the information. I'm the opposite.
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The teacher who knows the most about a subject isn't necessarily the one who can teach it best.
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One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.
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Numbers are the most certain things we have.
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Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
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Person-to-person, most people are honest.
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Creativity is a by-product of hard work. If I never have another really new idea, it won't matter.
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It's best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it's requested, and when it's a life threatening situation.
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Believing is such a comfort that it's hard to give up a belief just because it isn't true.
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If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.