Andy Rooney Quotes
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Phyllis Schlafly speaks for all American women who oppose equal rights for themselves.
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The one affectation I have forced on the publisher... are my apostrophe-free ellisions. Because I write my scripts to read myself, I dont spell 'don't' with an apostrophe. I spell it 'dont'. We all know the word and it seems foolish to put in an extraneous apostrophe. Punctuation marks are devices we use to make the meaning of sentences clear. There is nothing confusing about a word like 'dont' printed without an apostrophe to indicate an omitted letter.
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Flying is always an unpleasant experience. You wait an hour for every ten minutes you actually spend getting anywhere.
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The closing of a door can bring blessed privacy and comfort - the opening, terror. Conversely, the closing of a door can be a sad and final thing - the opening a wonderfully joyous moment.
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I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.
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A cat's idea of a 'good time' is to kill something.
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There are only a few safe targets left, just a few groups of people you can say anything negative about without getting in trouble for it. I've made a list of safe targets and I probably ought to stick to those. Politicians, for instance. You can say anything you want about them, and it doesn't matter how unfair you are. People seem to like it.
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I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you... More
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I've learned... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
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It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.
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I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.
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You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not.
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Writers don't often say anything that readers don't already know, unless its a news story. A writer's greatest pleasure is revealing to people things they knew but did not know they knew. Or did not realize everyone else knew, too. This produces a warm sense of fellow feeling and is the best a writer can do.
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It's ridiculous for a country to get all worked up about a game—except the Super Bowl, of course. Now that's important.
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Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?
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Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
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New ideas are one of the most overrated concepts of our time. Most of the important ideas that we live with aren't new at all.
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The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.
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Go to bed. Whatever you're staying up late for isn't worth it.
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People waiting for an elevator don't know what to do, standing with strangers. There is nothing to do. Its an uneasy time. Some press the button repeatedly as though it would help.
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It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
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I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.
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The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances.
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I've learned... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.