Anthony Jeselnik Quotes
I think a theater show is a pure version of me doing my material. The theater crowd is a bit more polite, there really aren't hecklers, and there are a lot of people there to see me, and they're excited about the jokes and hanging out with me for a show.
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Anytime you have a tight race and you lose, it's not pleasant.
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The Koran was revealed at a time of great change in the Arab world, the seventh-century shift from a matriarchal nomadic culture to an urban patriarchal system.
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If people think they've found my biggest weakness, let them try to take advantage of it.
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Dealing with the government does not mean you have to give a bribe.
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I dare anybody to look at me and say I'm anorexic. I'm so totally not.
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Generally my songs are just some riffs slung together as an excuse for a guitar solo.
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Oh, I'm quite the impulse buyer. Most of what I buy is stuff for my Jeep, 'cause it breaks down a lot.
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The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress.
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A person standing in front of an audience without enthusiasm for his subject and his actions is disconnected from his spirit.
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A smart phone essentially creates a dossier of your travels, and consumers have no control over who will eventually see that information.
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In Maryland, we have the unfortunate distinction of being the most gerrymandered state in the entire nation.
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I'm still at the beginning of my career. It's all a little new, and I'm still learning as I go.
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Let's face it, us '60s folks had pretty high expectations.
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But even writing the column for the 'Telegraph,' that idea of working to deadlines, which as an actor that's not something you have to do in the same way. It's excited me into wanting to do a bit more.
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So many people love sci-fi, and they're so loyal.
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Self-exploration is very painful, but unless you do that, you will never know who you are and who you want to be.
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My best friend is my husband.
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People think that young people don't care about things, but I think they do care; they just aren't super interested in conforming to what older people think are the right way to do things.
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It's a question of whether we're going to go forward into the future, or past to the back.
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My parents had met in high school and married right after my father came back from World War II. They honeymooned in Paris and returned to that city when my father, in college on the G.I. Bill, was awarded a Fulbright Scholarship.
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People break down after a couple of hours. All the defenses go down, and there's a kind of communication that if I spent 20 years in a living room with one of these people, I would never, never know as much about them as I do in that one day.
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Growing up, people would always say, 'You have such a pretty face.' It's kind of backhanded. That's the kind of things we have to stomach.
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If you watch the news, you see politicians use human vulnerabilities to get in and earn people's trust.
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I think a theater show is a pure version of me doing my material. The theater crowd is a bit more polite, there really aren't hecklers, and there are a lot of people there to see me, and they're excited about the jokes and hanging out with me for a show.
