Anthony Jeselnik Quotes
I think a theater show is a pure version of me doing my material. The theater crowd is a bit more polite, there really aren't hecklers, and there are a lot of people there to see me, and they're excited about the jokes and hanging out with me for a show.
Quotes to Explore
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Anytime you have a tight race and you lose, it's not pleasant.
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The Koran was revealed at a time of great change in the Arab world, the seventh-century shift from a matriarchal nomadic culture to an urban patriarchal system.
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If people think they've found my biggest weakness, let them try to take advantage of it.
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Dealing with the government does not mean you have to give a bribe.
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I dare anybody to look at me and say I'm anorexic. I'm so totally not.
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Generally my songs are just some riffs slung together as an excuse for a guitar solo.
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Oh, I'm quite the impulse buyer. Most of what I buy is stuff for my Jeep, 'cause it breaks down a lot.
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The law is simply expediency wearing a long white dress.
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A person standing in front of an audience without enthusiasm for his subject and his actions is disconnected from his spirit.
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A smart phone essentially creates a dossier of your travels, and consumers have no control over who will eventually see that information.
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In Maryland, we have the unfortunate distinction of being the most gerrymandered state in the entire nation.
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I'm still at the beginning of my career. It's all a little new, and I'm still learning as I go.
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Let's face it, us '60s folks had pretty high expectations.
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But even writing the column for the 'Telegraph,' that idea of working to deadlines, which as an actor that's not something you have to do in the same way. It's excited me into wanting to do a bit more.
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So many people love sci-fi, and they're so loyal.
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Self-exploration is very painful, but unless you do that, you will never know who you are and who you want to be.
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My best friend is my husband.
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People think that young people don't care about things, but I think they do care; they just aren't super interested in conforming to what older people think are the right way to do things.
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Never use an aluminum pot, pan, or utensil when cooking tomatoes - or any other soft metal items for that matter. The acidity in the tomato doesn't do well with them; they create a chemical reaction that can turn cooked tomatoes bitter and fade the color, and the food will absorb some of the aluminum!
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This was a brainchild of mine, to build a shop where you could walk up to everything and didn't feel like you had to keep your hands off. I wanted a shop that you could walk into and feel comfortable in, and I wanted women to feel comfortable in the shop as well.
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If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.
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What I believe in is that you have to invest in your security of what's important to you, and we have to recognize the men and women in the military and the commitment that it takes to keep our country safe.
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Avoid giving invitations to bores - they will come without.
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I think a theater show is a pure version of me doing my material. The theater crowd is a bit more polite, there really aren't hecklers, and there are a lot of people there to see me, and they're excited about the jokes and hanging out with me for a show.
