Maria Bamford Quotes
There's a lot of mental illness in my family. So, if you catch schizophrenia, get four boxes of Mike and Ikes, a Bible, and a cage. Wait it out.
Quotes to Explore
-
You won't do any more housework? Then you go to the bin.
-
It's nature-nurture, right? I've been nurtured by Californians.
-
I went to Catholic high school for half a year and religion wasn't the cool thing to talk about even at a catholic high school. It never came up.
-
If you solve both the consumer problems and the corporate problems, you can win at this game. If you reinvent what a corporation is currently selling, it can often make the leap.
-
I am more afraid of those who are terrified of the devil than I am of the devil himself.
-
Fashion breaks my heart.
-
I want to give kids that fall-off-the-bed-laughing feeling. Either that, or the sixth-grade feeling that life is hard - sometimes unbearably hard - and it is ultimately about death. But in the meantime, life can be really funny, too.
-
My touchstone for every question is the Constitution.
-
How extraordinary it is that one feels most guilt about the sins one is unable to commit.
-
The measure of your quality as a public person, as a citizen, is the gap between what you do and what you say.
-
Maybe I'm the kind of athlete who absorbs the atmosphere instead of trying to block it out.
-
I really want to try soccer after I retire because I've watched football over the years and I think I could be a good contender.
-
It's a touchy subject, but as a Southerner, you can't ignore our history any more than a Renaissance painter can ignore the Virgin Mary. And it's impossible to drive down a road or eat a vegetable or pass a church without being reminded of slavery.
-
Customers are enormously punishing when companies don't meet their expectations.
-
I can write best in the silence and solitude of the night, when everyone has retired.
-
Votes are like trees, if you are trying to build a forest. If you have more trees than you have forests, then at that point the pollsters will probably say you will win.
-
I think it's really important to be conscious of yourself and the world around you. For me, that meant reading a lot and reporting.
-
Some books leave us free and some books make us free.
-
There was a time when papal encyclicals were treated as virtual pronouncements of papal infallibility. There are still a small minority of Catholics who cite Pope Paul VI's 1968 document Humanae Vitae - which outlawed artificial birth control - as the word of God.
-
People were always like, 'Oh my God, you're going to be working with your girlfriend? Are you freaking out? Is that going to, like, destroy your relationship?' I think it emboldened the relationship.
-
"To be or not to be is" [by William Shakespeare] beyond anything I can comprehend. I understand it on a superficial level, but the depth of it just boggles my mind. I think it's probably the greatest of all speeches ever written.
-
It's like having a conversation. Doing beatbox for me is as natural as talking is for someone else. Sending sound through a certain part of my throat, so that I am accurate every time. It's not like whatever happens happens, this is a focused sound.
-
It is the Holy Spirit who inspired the Bible. It is the Holy Spirit who illumines the Bible.
-
There's a lot of mental illness in my family. So, if you catch schizophrenia, get four boxes of Mike and Ikes, a Bible, and a cage. Wait it out.
