Maria Bamford Quotes
There's a lot of mental illness in my family. So, if you catch schizophrenia, get four boxes of Mike and Ikes, a Bible, and a cage. Wait it out.
Quotes to Explore
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You won't do any more housework? Then you go to the bin.
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It's nature-nurture, right? I've been nurtured by Californians.
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I went to Catholic high school for half a year and religion wasn't the cool thing to talk about even at a catholic high school. It never came up.
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If you solve both the consumer problems and the corporate problems, you can win at this game. If you reinvent what a corporation is currently selling, it can often make the leap.
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I am more afraid of those who are terrified of the devil than I am of the devil himself.
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Fashion breaks my heart.
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I want to give kids that fall-off-the-bed-laughing feeling. Either that, or the sixth-grade feeling that life is hard - sometimes unbearably hard - and it is ultimately about death. But in the meantime, life can be really funny, too.
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My touchstone for every question is the Constitution.
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How extraordinary it is that one feels most guilt about the sins one is unable to commit.
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The measure of your quality as a public person, as a citizen, is the gap between what you do and what you say.
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Maybe I'm the kind of athlete who absorbs the atmosphere instead of trying to block it out.
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I really want to try soccer after I retire because I've watched football over the years and I think I could be a good contender.
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It's a touchy subject, but as a Southerner, you can't ignore our history any more than a Renaissance painter can ignore the Virgin Mary. And it's impossible to drive down a road or eat a vegetable or pass a church without being reminded of slavery.
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Customers are enormously punishing when companies don't meet their expectations.
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I can write best in the silence and solitude of the night, when everyone has retired.
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Votes are like trees, if you are trying to build a forest. If you have more trees than you have forests, then at that point the pollsters will probably say you will win.
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I think it's really important to be conscious of yourself and the world around you. For me, that meant reading a lot and reporting.
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Some books leave us free and some books make us free.
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I hate hearing from anyone ever saying, 'Oh, you only make clothes for models. That's so annoying,' because it just never, never is the case. Our top-selling size is probably a 12.
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Why does the Church grow and flourish? It does so because of divine direction to the leaders and members.
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I think all the great studio filmmakers are dead or no longer working. I don't put myself, my friends, and other contemporary filmmakers in their category. I just see us doing some work.
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A girl, if she has any pride, is so ashamed of having anything she wishes to say out of the hearing of her own family, she thinks it must be something so very wrong, that it is ten to one, if she have the opportunity of saying it, that she will not. And yet she is spending her life, perhaps, in dreaming of accidental means of unrestrained communion.
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I grew up in a military family, and there's something about that military-style uniform, all cleaned up, a brutal control effort the military necessarily breeds.
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There's a lot of mental illness in my family. So, if you catch schizophrenia, get four boxes of Mike and Ikes, a Bible, and a cage. Wait it out.
