Maria Bamford Quotes
There's a lot of mental illness in my family. So, if you catch schizophrenia, get four boxes of Mike and Ikes, a Bible, and a cage. Wait it out.
Quotes to Explore
-
You won't do any more housework? Then you go to the bin.
-
It's nature-nurture, right? I've been nurtured by Californians.
-
I went to Catholic high school for half a year and religion wasn't the cool thing to talk about even at a catholic high school. It never came up.
-
If you solve both the consumer problems and the corporate problems, you can win at this game. If you reinvent what a corporation is currently selling, it can often make the leap.
-
I am more afraid of those who are terrified of the devil than I am of the devil himself.
-
Fashion breaks my heart.
-
I want to give kids that fall-off-the-bed-laughing feeling. Either that, or the sixth-grade feeling that life is hard - sometimes unbearably hard - and it is ultimately about death. But in the meantime, life can be really funny, too.
-
My touchstone for every question is the Constitution.
-
How extraordinary it is that one feels most guilt about the sins one is unable to commit.
-
The measure of your quality as a public person, as a citizen, is the gap between what you do and what you say.
-
Maybe I'm the kind of athlete who absorbs the atmosphere instead of trying to block it out.
-
You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, 'I release the need for this in my life'.
-
I really want to try soccer after I retire because I've watched football over the years and I think I could be a good contender.
-
It's a touchy subject, but as a Southerner, you can't ignore our history any more than a Renaissance painter can ignore the Virgin Mary. And it's impossible to drive down a road or eat a vegetable or pass a church without being reminded of slavery.
-
Customers are enormously punishing when companies don't meet their expectations.
-
I can write best in the silence and solitude of the night, when everyone has retired.
-
Votes are like trees, if you are trying to build a forest. If you have more trees than you have forests, then at that point the pollsters will probably say you will win.
-
I think it's really important to be conscious of yourself and the world around you. For me, that meant reading a lot and reporting.
-
Some books leave us free and some books make us free.
-
When I came back from filming the 'Chandelier' video, everyone was like, 'So what'd you wear? What did the room look like? How many chandeliers were there?' And I was like, 'Well, I wore a blond wig, a nude leotard, the room was dirty, and there was no chandelier.'
-
I believe Wall Street needs serious ongoing regulation.
-
I've taken up golf... or golf has taken me up.
-
Try as I will, I don't see what might exist...
-
There's a lot of mental illness in my family. So, if you catch schizophrenia, get four boxes of Mike and Ikes, a Bible, and a cage. Wait it out.
