Maria Bamford Quotes
There's a lot of mental illness in my family. So, if you catch schizophrenia, get four boxes of Mike and Ikes, a Bible, and a cage. Wait it out.
Quotes to Explore
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You won't do any more housework? Then you go to the bin.
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It's nature-nurture, right? I've been nurtured by Californians.
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I went to Catholic high school for half a year and religion wasn't the cool thing to talk about even at a catholic high school. It never came up.
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If you solve both the consumer problems and the corporate problems, you can win at this game. If you reinvent what a corporation is currently selling, it can often make the leap.
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Through the years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.
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I am more afraid of those who are terrified of the devil than I am of the devil himself.
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Fashion breaks my heart.
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I want to give kids that fall-off-the-bed-laughing feeling. Either that, or the sixth-grade feeling that life is hard - sometimes unbearably hard - and it is ultimately about death. But in the meantime, life can be really funny, too.
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My touchstone for every question is the Constitution.
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How extraordinary it is that one feels most guilt about the sins one is unable to commit.
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The measure of your quality as a public person, as a citizen, is the gap between what you do and what you say.
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Maybe I'm the kind of athlete who absorbs the atmosphere instead of trying to block it out.
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You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, 'I release the need for this in my life'.
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I really want to try soccer after I retire because I've watched football over the years and I think I could be a good contender.
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I just came back from my hometown, making a movie about a kid who grew up just like me, and it was financed by white people in New York. Personally, I can't be angry. In my personal experience, the support was there.
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It's a touchy subject, but as a Southerner, you can't ignore our history any more than a Renaissance painter can ignore the Virgin Mary. And it's impossible to drive down a road or eat a vegetable or pass a church without being reminded of slavery.
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Customers are enormously punishing when companies don't meet their expectations.
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I can write best in the silence and solitude of the night, when everyone has retired.
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There's nothing regular about my life at all, really. I don't keep a regular schedule and every day is different. It's all rather chaotic.
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If I go to your home, and you're cooking me a meal, I will eat whatever you put in front of me.
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What is it that love does to a woman? Without she only sleeps; with it alone, she lives.
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I'm amazed that things have panned out the way they have. I always say I'm so lucky, though my mum always says, 'You make your own luck.'
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There's a lot of mental illness in my family. So, if you catch schizophrenia, get four boxes of Mike and Ikes, a Bible, and a cage. Wait it out.
