Maria Bamford Quotes
There's a lot of mental illness in my family. So, if you catch schizophrenia, get four boxes of Mike and Ikes, a Bible, and a cage. Wait it out.
Quotes to Explore
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You won't do any more housework? Then you go to the bin.
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It's nature-nurture, right? I've been nurtured by Californians.
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I went to Catholic high school for half a year and religion wasn't the cool thing to talk about even at a catholic high school. It never came up.
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If you solve both the consumer problems and the corporate problems, you can win at this game. If you reinvent what a corporation is currently selling, it can often make the leap.
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Through the years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.
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I am more afraid of those who are terrified of the devil than I am of the devil himself.
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Fashion breaks my heart.
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I want to give kids that fall-off-the-bed-laughing feeling. Either that, or the sixth-grade feeling that life is hard - sometimes unbearably hard - and it is ultimately about death. But in the meantime, life can be really funny, too.
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My touchstone for every question is the Constitution.
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How extraordinary it is that one feels most guilt about the sins one is unable to commit.
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The measure of your quality as a public person, as a citizen, is the gap between what you do and what you say.
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Maybe I'm the kind of athlete who absorbs the atmosphere instead of trying to block it out.
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You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, 'I release the need for this in my life'.
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I really want to try soccer after I retire because I've watched football over the years and I think I could be a good contender.
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I just came back from my hometown, making a movie about a kid who grew up just like me, and it was financed by white people in New York. Personally, I can't be angry. In my personal experience, the support was there.
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It's a touchy subject, but as a Southerner, you can't ignore our history any more than a Renaissance painter can ignore the Virgin Mary. And it's impossible to drive down a road or eat a vegetable or pass a church without being reminded of slavery.
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Customers are enormously punishing when companies don't meet their expectations.
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I can write best in the silence and solitude of the night, when everyone has retired.
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She is very clever, too clever for a woman. She lacks the indefinable charm of weakness.
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Any cigar smoker is a friend, because I know how he feels.
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My father is from Jamaica, my mother is from the U.K., but I was adopted as an infant by a really wonderful family in Alberta, Canada. What we refer to as 'Texas of the North.'
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One of my closest friends was killed. I had to wake up and follow the help of family and friends, in order to change my ways. Now, I'm against violence and drug abuse.
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The central control center of the soul is the mind. Therefore, the mind is the battlefield and will determine whether or not we have victory or defeat in our Christian lives. This is why the Bible instructs us to renew our minds with God’s Word. The Word keeps us in God’s perfect will for our lives.
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There's a lot of mental illness in my family. So, if you catch schizophrenia, get four boxes of Mike and Ikes, a Bible, and a cage. Wait it out.
