Maria Bamford Quotes
There's a lot of mental illness in my family. So, if you catch schizophrenia, get four boxes of Mike and Ikes, a Bible, and a cage. Wait it out.
Quotes to Explore
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You won't do any more housework? Then you go to the bin.
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It's nature-nurture, right? I've been nurtured by Californians.
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I went to Catholic high school for half a year and religion wasn't the cool thing to talk about even at a catholic high school. It never came up.
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If you solve both the consumer problems and the corporate problems, you can win at this game. If you reinvent what a corporation is currently selling, it can often make the leap.
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Through the years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.
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I am more afraid of those who are terrified of the devil than I am of the devil himself.
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Fashion breaks my heart.
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I want to give kids that fall-off-the-bed-laughing feeling. Either that, or the sixth-grade feeling that life is hard - sometimes unbearably hard - and it is ultimately about death. But in the meantime, life can be really funny, too.
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My touchstone for every question is the Constitution.
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How extraordinary it is that one feels most guilt about the sins one is unable to commit.
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The measure of your quality as a public person, as a citizen, is the gap between what you do and what you say.
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Maybe I'm the kind of athlete who absorbs the atmosphere instead of trying to block it out.
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You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, 'I release the need for this in my life'.
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I really want to try soccer after I retire because I've watched football over the years and I think I could be a good contender.
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I just came back from my hometown, making a movie about a kid who grew up just like me, and it was financed by white people in New York. Personally, I can't be angry. In my personal experience, the support was there.
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It's a touchy subject, but as a Southerner, you can't ignore our history any more than a Renaissance painter can ignore the Virgin Mary. And it's impossible to drive down a road or eat a vegetable or pass a church without being reminded of slavery.
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Customers are enormously punishing when companies don't meet their expectations.
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I can write best in the silence and solitude of the night, when everyone has retired.
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If you have other gods before the Lord, your heart will be turned away from serving the only true and living God, who requires the whole heart, the undivided affections. All the heart, all the soul, all the mind, and all the strength, does God require. He will accept of nothing short of this.
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Writers who aren't from rural states in the Midwest or the West often treat such people as if they were the Waltons or the Beverly Hillbillies.
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Social media, for me, is about interacting with people who follow my career. I don't think my relationship has anything to do with my career.
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I don't like jail, they got the wrong kind of bars in there.
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I kept all of my tickets from the New Kids concerts and stuff - wristband, ticket, pass. Why? They are all in a drawer. I never look at it, but I still keep it. It sparks joy, that is why. It sparks joy. That is fine!
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There's a lot of mental illness in my family. So, if you catch schizophrenia, get four boxes of Mike and Ikes, a Bible, and a cage. Wait it out.
