Akiva Schaffer Quotes
You learn, even at 'S.N.L.,' that the funniest scripts a lot of the time were written with the actor, because they know what makes people laugh. It's always going to be better if they own it.

Quotes to Explore
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So I went to English school, secondary English school, so forget going to Mecca for my religious education.
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First of all, I'm so glad that the city of Houston has a football team again. They have such great fans. I'm really happy for the people of Houston because they deserve a football team.
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Things that happen in Wyoming are things that wouldn't happen in a big city - we've got bears, we've got a lot of shotguns - in Absaroka County, everybody's got a shotgun in the back of their car!
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I never try to follow a trend or fashion.
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My greatest aspiration was always to live in the tropics.
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Gun owners and non-gun owners alike agree on expanding background checks, making gun trafficking a serious crime with stiff penalties, making it illegal for all stalkers and all domestic abusers to buy guns, and expanding mental health resources so the mentally ill find it easier to receive treatment than to buy firearms.
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I enjoy my life, I love track, I'm set for life financially.
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No matter how far a person can go the horizon is still way beyond you.
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I moved to New York when I was 21 and worked between 40 and 70 hours a week. Then I invested it all. It was really just a hustle. But I was kind of raised to work like that, so to me, it seemed very normal and natural.
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The men and women of my generation are heirs to that great collective success which has been admired worldwide and of which we are so proud. It is now up to us to pass it on to the coming generations.
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You can't tolerate anybody attempting to threaten or intimidate your body. You must respond with force.
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I've grown up playing for some incredible coaches, and I don't think anybody's ever been as fortunate as I have in terms of the people I've been allowed to play under, coach under, or be involved with.
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Unlike many Californians or New Yorkers, college football is a religion down south.
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Power says if you are a committee chairman, your idea is good only because you have got power.
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I think having children is the most amazing thing.
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The one thing that the president continues to diminish, which I think is unfortunate, is the fact that the Russian government, at the highest level, deliberately interfered with our election in 2016, and according to all of our experts in the intelligence community, they are coming back with more force in 2018 and 2020.
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I've always been really, really aware of my insecurities - really, really aware. I never developed that thick skin that keeps you from letting things get to you.
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I don't think the deficit of the country is a Republican issue or a Democratic issue. I think it's a country issue. I don't think worrying about the reindustrialization of America is a Republican or Democratic issue.
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All I can do is assess the value from Manchester United perspective. Whatever Chelsea do, they may have a different criteria, and different financial assets.
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I was tempted my junior year to go out of college and forgo my eligibility. I had broken several world records. I did have a lot of people telling me that I should go pro.
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We're all concerned about the budget. We're all concerned about what's happening financially in our country. There's no question about it. Congress is working day and night. In fact, every time I go home the lights are on at the top of the Capitol.
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In television there are only about 12 people who do what I do.
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When we were courting, I told my wife: 'I could live in your eyes.' She said: 'You'd be at home; there's a stye in one of them.'
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You learn, even at 'S.N.L.,' that the funniest scripts a lot of the time were written with the actor, because they know what makes people laugh. It's always going to be better if they own it.