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New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesn't know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut.
Craig Kilborn -
As fighting in Iraq intensifies, President Bush delivered his supplemental war budget to Congress. The money will cover 30 days of fighting, then we'll be sent one war every other month until we cancel our subscription.
Craig Kilborn
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I have a wonderful respect for old people.
Craig Kilborn -
People here in Los Angeles are disgusted now about a sex scandal involving Arnold Schwarzenegger. Apparently for seven years, he carried on a sexual relationship with his own wife.
Craig Kilborn -
I always tell people I romanticize about doing something simple, like doing radio in northern California.
Craig Kilborn -
People who go into show business are screwed up.
Craig Kilborn -
I don't do well around the angry, bitter and emotionally fragile among us, which may eliminate 70% of the population.
Craig Kilborn -
John Kerry was officially endorsed by Dick Gephardt, and Kerry said, 'What did I ever do to you?'
Craig Kilborn
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I used to make fun of young people when I was 17 - the angst, the insecurities, all those tattoos.
Craig Kilborn -
Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'
Craig Kilborn -
I learned at an early age that using the third person will push some buttons.
Craig Kilborn -
In Massachusetts, scientists have created the first human clone. The bad thing is that in thirty years, the clone will still be depressed because the Boston Red Sox will still have not won a World Series.
Craig Kilborn -
The places I've worked in the past, I always stayed three years and moved on.
Craig Kilborn -
The big political news, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he's running for governor of California, and already, people are chanting, 'Four more vowels, four more vowels.'
Craig Kilborn
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I don't complain.
Craig Kilborn -
I lived in a studio apartment until my mid-30s. I don't have an extravagant lifestyle.
Craig Kilborn -
Senator Hillary Clinton is attacking President Bush for breaking his campaign promise to cut carbon dioxide emissions, saying a promise made, a promise broken. And then out of habit, she demanded that Bush spend the night on the couch.
Craig Kilborn -
Comedy doesn't always have to come from a dark place.
Craig Kilborn -
I think that you're always going to have some people who are negative or view you in a certain way.
Craig Kilborn -
I'm from the Midwest.
Craig Kilborn
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CBS was very generous in their offer to re-sign me. But I simply want to try something new.
Craig Kilborn -
However, frat-boy humor is funny and it always will be.
Craig Kilborn -
Broadcasting was something, I don't want to say it came easy, but it's something I'm comfortable doing.
Craig Kilborn -
They're saying Arnold will get 95% of the vote. At least according to his brother, Jeb Schwarzenegger.
Craig Kilborn