Golf Quotes
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I don't follow golf! I don't keep up with golf or know who is coming or going. I am just here to play the game and be done with it.
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Golf is the only game I know where you call a foul on yourself.
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Extremely large greens breed slovenly play. When any green ceases to command respect, it loses its value as a test of that rarest of all strokes, the shot home.
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I've played with some very famous bandits in my time on the celebrity golf circuit.
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Golf is like 99.9 percent of my life, and then there's school. I don't get much time to go out with my friends.
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Golf made me feel like a loser. So I dismissed it.
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This new baseball is like a golf ball. I think there are going to be a lot more dents put in the wall at Fenway Park this year.
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I did play other sports growing up. I played cricket and all those other things, but I was just so much more talented in golf, and that's all I wanted to do.
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The business man - the man to whom age brings golf instead of wisdom.
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I just hate to see what's happening today with golf clubs that I consider to be illegal, ... I'd stop the grooves being so deep (on the ball), and I'd stop the trampoline effect in the wood.
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The secret of golf is to turn three shots into two.
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The Masters is more like a vast Edwardian garden party than a golf tournament.
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I'm a golf junkie. I watch every tournament pretty much. I watch interviews. I watch warm-up routines. All that stuff.
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I don't play golf. I have more fun singing and dancing.
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It is nothing new or original to say that golf is played one stroke at a time. But it took me many years to realize it.
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In golf, the player, coach and official are rolled into one, and they overlap completely. Golf really is the best microcosm of life - or at least the way life should be.
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And then who comes along to save the day? A couple of tool-belt wearing, golf-loving, Dinah Shore weekend lesbians sent from heaven.
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When it comes down to it, I'm thinking about football all the time. When I'm on the golf course, I'm thinking about it. It's never out of your brain.
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As far as standup, everybody has a vehicle they are driving. If what you do works, it's like playing golf. If you can master that one swing over and over again, you will be successful. That's what standup is. You have to have a central move and it has to be yours. You have to own your comedy, own what you do.
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I'm obsessed with golf, so I love going to play golf.
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You can't pick up a golf club if your thumb hurts.
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When the path ahead of you is uphill, surrounded by rough spots, hazards and obstacles: use a pitching wedge.
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Golf may be a hussy, but I love her.
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Golf gives and takes. So yeah, sometimes you make those putts, sometimes you just miss them. But that's golf.
