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With 'Hang the DJ,' I was concerned that it was more comedic and much lighter than we normally do for 'Black Mirror.'
Charlie Brooker -
Nothing happens in cricket, ever. Even the highlights resemble a freeze frame.
Charlie Brooker
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The entire economy relies on the suspension of disbelief. So does a fairy story or an animated cartoon. This means that no matter how soberly the financial experts dress, no matter how dry their language, the economy they worship can only ever be as plausible as an episode of 'SpongeBob SquarePants.'
Charlie Brooker -
It's hard to think of a single human function that technology hasn't somehow altered, apart perhaps from burping. That's pretty much all we have left.
Charlie Brooker -
Newspapers chiefly exist to spooned the opinions of their readers back to them, much like an arse to mouth hosepipe.
Charlie Brooker -
I can't imagine voluntarily standing beside an F1 track in the rain, watching motorised wedges plastered in corporate decals zooming past at 500mph.
Charlie Brooker -
I remember I was changing to one phone from another and going through my old contact details, and so I was having to delete duplicate numbers to make room, and up came the name of someone who died, and... it felt hard to delete the name.
Charlie Brooker -
Balls to aspiration, it's a tosser's mirage.
Charlie Brooker
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New Year's resolutions work like this: you think of something you enjoy doing and then resolve to stop doing it.
Charlie Brooker -
I'm quite techy and gadgety.
Charlie Brooker -
Getting a moral lecture from the fashion industry is like Jeffrey Dahmer criticising your diet.
Charlie Brooker -
I'm scared about everything. I'm an anxious worrier. I worry about the downside of everything.
Charlie Brooker -
I've got a phobia about throwing up.
Charlie Brooker -
My career path is like crazy paving - it goes all over the place.
Charlie Brooker
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I'm looking forward to the 'Twilight Zone' from Jordan Peele... if anyone's gonna reboot the 'Twilight Zone,' then there's the man to do it.
Charlie Brooker -
Our metropolises are blighted by two problems: a lack of public transport and a lack of public loos.
Charlie Brooker -
...I haven't seen so many dirty snouts, and slimy arseholes crammed into such a small space since I last looked inside a sausage.
Charlie Brooker -
I wanna do some more goofy comedy stuff; I really enjoyed doing 'A Touch of Cloth.'
Charlie Brooker -
We humans are great at creating tools with unforeseen consequences. For instance, when we invented the wheel, we had no way of knowing we were also laying the foundations for the TV show 'Top Gear.'
Charlie Brooker -
Each episode follows an unbelievably spoiled rich and tiny sod as they prepare to throw a despicably opulent coming of age party for themselves and their squealing shitcake friends.
Charlie Brooker
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It must be awful, being a homophobe.
Charlie Brooker -
I usually quite like women, but this advert makes me want to kill about 900 of them with my bare hands. It ends with the tiresome ladettes marching down a high street triumphantly singing the Here Come the Girls song out loud, like an invading squadron tormenting the natives with its war cry. Next year they'll probably be armed. Fear this.
Charlie Brooker -
Anyway, Big Brother 7: that was that. Big Brother 8 is scheduled to take place in the glowing centre of an irradiated war-torn wasteland formerly known as Earth. See you there.
Charlie Brooker -
I'll stop calling it the iPhone right now. Instead, for the remainder of this article, it'll be known as the Jabscreen. A better name in any case.
Charlie Brooker