Charlie Brooker Quotes
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I remember when I realised, as a child, 'That stuff on the TV about nuclear bombs is real! Why isn't everyone running around shouting 'Aaarrgghh'? Why are people still buying bicycle clips?'
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...I haven't seen so many dirty snouts, and slimy arseholes crammed into such a small space since I last looked inside a sausage.
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The BB house works as a kind of twat amplifier, you see. Once harnessed within, someone who in normal life would merely strike me as a bit of a git quickly swells in negative stature, eventually coming to symbolise everything I hate about our cruel and godless universe.
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I wanna do some more goofy comedy stuff; I really enjoyed doing 'A Touch of Cloth.'
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My bookshelves chiefly function as a snapshot of what I was reading prior to the invention of the Kindle.
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We humans are great at creating tools with unforeseen consequences. For instance, when we invented the wheel, we had no way of knowing we were also laying the foundations for the TV show 'Top Gear.'
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'MasterChef' delivers all the reassuring, cadenced repetition of an endless chore without any of the bothersome elbow grease.
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It must be awful, being a homophobe.
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I'll stop calling it the iPhone right now. Instead, for the remainder of this article, it'll be known as the Jabscreen. A better name in any case.
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In the early '80s, the arcade game Pac-Man was twice as popular as oxygen.
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I didn't pass my degree due to never handing in an acceptable dissertation, and while it didn't harm me in the long run, my failure to complete the course properly probably led me to spend the next six years or so coasting, unsure of what to do next.
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I like technology, but 'Black Mirror' is more what the consequences are, and it doesn't tend to be about technology itself: it tends to be how we use or misuse it. We've not really thought through the consequences of it.
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I don't know how, at an age when you're trying to put your identity together, how you cope with the pressure of a performance space, which is what social media is.
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Fortunately for whining snotface, the party itself goes with a bang. She enters looking every inch the cosseted flesh-waste she is, and her and her nauseating idiot scumbag friends celebrate into the night: dancing, shrieking, acting like pillocks, and generally making you feel like getting down on your knees and praying for a nuclear holocaust.
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It's a rum state of affairs when you feel like punching a jar of mayonnaise in the face.
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I can't imagine painting my face in a team colour and roaring with delight as a multi-millionaire kicks a ball at a net.
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Amplifying body-image issues, profiting from anxiety, and employing virtual slaves in sweatshops are bad enough, but the fashion industry is also actively hastening the destruction of the very Earth we walk on. It insists on launching fresh collections each season, declaring yesterday's range obsolete on a whim.
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Man the lifeboats. The idiots are winning.
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A lot of people think right-wingers aren't capable of being amusing at all. Not true. Mussolini looked hilarious swinging from that lamppost.
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...the news might be single-handedly trying to bring about an environmental catastrophe, which it will then report on.
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At first glance, My Super Sweet 16 appears to be a sugary bit of reality drizzle about some irritating American brats, but the more you watch it the more you realize it’s actually a stonehearted exposé of everything that’s wrong with our faltering so-called civilization.
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I haven't always been the kind of man who plays videogames. I used to be the kind of boy who played videogames.
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I won't get over that in a hurry: my least favourite atrophied Hazel McWitch lookalike in the world, singing 'I just want to make love to you', right there on primetime telly. She has to be the only person on Earth who can take a lyric like that and make it seem like a blood-curdling threat without changing any of the words.
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If love were a product, the queue at the faulty goods desk would stretch right round the universe and back. It doesn't work properly. The seams come apart and it's full of powdered glass.