Charlie Brooker Quotes
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The upper classes really shouldn't open their mouths on television. Whatever it is they're saying, all your brain actually hears is 'Tra la la, I live in a bubble, tra la la, murder a fox, tra la la, Conde Nast Traveller, tra la la, Kensington High Street, tra la la.' They should know their place and keep quiet.
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The majority of people are perfectly capable of interacting with retail staff without spitting on them or whipping their hides like dawdling cattle, but Planet Earth still harbours more than its fair share of disappointments.
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We're inseparable, games and I. If you cut me, I'd bleed pixels. Or blood. Probably blood, come to think of it.
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Calling Batman 'the Dark Knight' is like calling Papa Smurf 'the Blue Patriarch':you're not fooling anyone.
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'MasterChef''s preliminary stages deliver just the right level of almost-drama for viewers feeling shagged out after a hard day's fruitless existence.
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There's so much stuff flying around online, and it's so easy to get into arguments with people.
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Actually, I think this might be an Al-Qaeda recruitment film.
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When you meet people you've interacted with on social media, they are not like they are on social media.
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Ever since about 1998, when humankind began fast-forwarding through the gradually-unfolding history of progress, like someone impatiently zipping through a YouTube clip in search of the best bits, we've grown accustomed to machines veering from essential to obsolete in the blink of a trimester.
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When you're being earnest, people think you're being sarcastic, and when you're being sarcastic, they think you're being earnest. The moral in all this, of course, is that people should never attempt to communicate.
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I do worry about civil unrest, or complete collapse of society, or having to flee, or Europe falling into a war.
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The fashion industry is an immense cultural and social blight that only gets a free pass because its would-be detractors are scared it'll start criticising their haircut.
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Is hacking ever acceptable? It depends on the motive.
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People always assume I went to public school, which I didn't, so that immediately puts me somewhere.
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All Pixar movies are heartbreaking, aren't they?
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With Boris Johnson, you don't think of him as a politician, oddly. You think of him as a media personality because he's a comic character. He's basically Homer Simpson. That makes him strangely bullet-proof.
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He could probably make you a cloud sandwich if you asked. Or a blancmange made of numbers.
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I'm not anti-technology at all, really.
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I can quickly go to a place where I worry about society spiralling out of control.
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That's certainly made me think. It's made me think I don't want a television any more.
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At 16, I was drawing cartoons, and I wanted to carry on being a cartoonist.
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The logical quandaries thrown up by well-meaning systems are clearly something that I find darkly amusing.
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Humans will always babble. If someone wants to tweet that they can't decide whether to wear blue socks or brown socks, then fair enough. But when sharing becomes automated, I get the heebie-jeebies.
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If you're living in a dystopia, you don't necessarily want to look at another one.