Charlie Brooker Quotes
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There's so much stuff flying around online, and it's so easy to get into arguments with people.
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The majority of people are perfectly capable of interacting with retail staff without spitting on them or whipping their hides like dawdling cattle, but Planet Earth still harbours more than its fair share of disappointments.
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We're inseparable, games and I. If you cut me, I'd bleed pixels. Or blood. Probably blood, come to think of it.
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I haven't always been the kind of man who plays videogames. I used to be the kind of boy who played videogames.
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When you're being earnest, people think you're being sarcastic, and when you're being sarcastic, they think you're being earnest. The moral in all this, of course, is that people should never attempt to communicate.
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Calling Batman 'the Dark Knight' is like calling Papa Smurf 'the Blue Patriarch':you're not fooling anyone.
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Ever since about 1998, when humankind began fast-forwarding through the gradually-unfolding history of progress, like someone impatiently zipping through a YouTube clip in search of the best bits, we've grown accustomed to machines veering from essential to obsolete in the blink of a trimester.
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'MasterChef''s preliminary stages deliver just the right level of almost-drama for viewers feeling shagged out after a hard day's fruitless existence.
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Actually, I think this might be an Al-Qaeda recruitment film.
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The fashion industry is an immense cultural and social blight that only gets a free pass because its would-be detractors are scared it'll start criticising their haircut.
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I do worry about civil unrest, or complete collapse of society, or having to flee, or Europe falling into a war.
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I'm not anti-technology at all, really.
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With Boris Johnson, you don't think of him as a politician, oddly. You think of him as a media personality because he's a comic character. He's basically Homer Simpson. That makes him strangely bullet-proof.
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That's certainly made me think. It's made me think I don't want a television any more.
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When you meet people you've interacted with on social media, they are not like they are on social media.
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Is hacking ever acceptable? It depends on the motive.
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All Pixar movies are heartbreaking, aren't they?
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People always assume I went to public school, which I didn't, so that immediately puts me somewhere.
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I can quickly go to a place where I worry about society spiralling out of control.
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He could probably make you a cloud sandwich if you asked. Or a blancmange made of numbers.
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Humans will always babble. If someone wants to tweet that they can't decide whether to wear blue socks or brown socks, then fair enough. But when sharing becomes automated, I get the heebie-jeebies.
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At 16, I was drawing cartoons, and I wanted to carry on being a cartoonist.
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I can't rank anything. I mean, how could anyone possibly say what their favourite piece of music is? I don't have the ability or the desire to categorise things of that nature.
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The logical quandaries thrown up by well-meaning systems are clearly something that I find darkly amusing.