Chelsea Handler Quotes
If you're a member of my family, whether immediate or extended, and you want to see my show, don't.
Quotes to Explore
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I think my numbers speak for themselves.
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I don't think my mother and father ever had any doubts about what I was to be punished for or not. My parents come from a very strictly defined culture.
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I've wanted to be an actor for such a long time that I haven't had anything else in my thoughts. I think my family would have quite liked me to be a lawyer.
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I always knew I would make the record that I made in 'Carter Girl.'
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We had something very special in the Faces. We were blessed to have the fun we had.
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As long as there is cash, and the economy is running, all is well. But as a bank, we'll have to test, experiment, try a hundred different things. A few may work, a few may fail, but we have to experiment and try.
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There's a whole element of human interaction and character interaction that I really enjoy doing.
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No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
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I have, like, two and a half years of failed jokes that I know I wouldn't repeat, but I certainly have no comprehension of what definitely works. And the only gauge that I can go by is, 'This makes me laugh,' and is joyful... I like to, if possible, do things that people can enjoy and it doesn't take anybody down.
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Get me well so I can get on television and tell people to stop smoking.
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In real life, coincidences happen all the time. In novels, they are leapt upon with fury.
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Natural gas is better distributed than any other fuel in the United States. It's down every street and up every alley. There's a pipeline.
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Of course the United States and Russia have different interests. Nevertheless, both are strategic partners.
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There's obviously a group who enjoys what Tyler Perry is putting out there. And why fault them? And there's a group that loves the things that Spike does. So they should enjoy that, too. Is it my taste? Maybe not, but I'm not going to fault anybody for doing what they're doing as long as people are showing up.
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Even without an economic downturn, women sometimes want to keep their shopping habits to themselves.
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I've never walked away from any of my positions. I take pride in them.
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I like the idea of sending my Aquazurra girls out with a lucky charm under their feet.
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The best way to get to know the place you are traveling in is to walk around... and the best way to walk around is with comfortable shoes! Grab your travel buddy and your running shoes and go explore!
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Christians take Scriptures out of context to try to justify or to vindicate retreat and cowardice.
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Handicaps can be converted into stepping stones on which one may climb toward some worthy goal, unless they are accepted as obstacles, and used as alibis.
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Love is such that God grants us one person who we can spend the rest of our life with. It rarely happens that we don't.
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It's hard to keep things moving. And that's always a big trick. I think for me, the key is setting really big goals. And, you know, with YouTube, I think we've had tremendous leadership, both with the founders and now with Salar, who's been running it.
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I wish somebody would just give me a couple of million dollars a year, so that I could do a play based on every little fantasy I have.
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If you're a member of my family, whether immediate or extended, and you want to see my show, don't.
