Chelsea Handler Quotes

If you're a member of my family, whether immediate or extended, and you want to see my show, don't.

Chelsea Handler

• Family

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• I think my numbers speak for themselves.

  

  Jack Youngblood
  • Think
  • Speak
  • Numbers

• The billable hours is a classic case of restricted autonomy. I mean, you're working on - I mean, sometimes on these six-minute increments. So you're not focused on doing a good job. You're focused on hitting your numbers. It's one reason why lawyers typically are so unhappy. And I want a world of happy lawyers.

  

  Dan Pink
  • World
  • Good
  • Why

• I don't think my mother and father ever had any doubts about what I was to be punished for or not. My parents come from a very strictly defined culture.

  

  B. F. Skinner
  • Mother
  • Father
  • Parents

• I've wanted to be an actor for such a long time that I haven't had anything else in my thoughts. I think my family would have quite liked me to be a lawyer.

  

  Ed Speleers
  • Time
  • Long
  • Family

• I always knew I would make the record that I made in 'Carter Girl.'

  

  Carlene Carter
  • Girl
  • Always
  • Made

• We had something very special in the Faces. We were blessed to have the fun we had.

  

  Ian McLagan Small Faces
  • Fun
  • Blessed
  • Faces

• As long as there is cash, and the economy is running, all is well. But as a bank, we'll have to test, experiment, try a hundred different things. A few may work, a few may fail, but we have to experiment and try.

  

  Uday Kotak
  • Work
  • Different
  • Long

• There's a whole element of human interaction and character interaction that I really enjoy doing.

  

  Orlando Bloom
  • Character
  • Enjoy
  • Doing

• No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.

  

  Abraham Lincoln
  • Good
  • Man
  • Funny

• I have, like, two and a half years of failed jokes that I know I wouldn't repeat, but I certainly have no comprehension of what definitely works. And the only gauge that I can go by is, 'This makes me laugh,' and is joyful... I like to, if possible, do things that people can enjoy and it doesn't take anybody down.

  

  Taran Killam
  • People
  • Enjoy
  • Laugh

• Get me well so I can get on television and tell people to stop smoking.

  

  Nat King Cole
  • People
  • Stop
  • Television

• In real life, coincidences happen all the time. In novels, they are leapt upon with fury.

  

  Harlan Coben
  • Life
  • Time
  • Real

• Natural gas is better distributed than any other fuel in the United States. It's down every street and up every alley. There's a pipeline.

  

  T. Boone Pickens
  • Up
  • Better
  • Down

• Of course the United States and Russia have different interests. Nevertheless, both are strategic partners.

  

  Valentina Matviyenko
  • Different
  • United States
  • Russia

• There's obviously a group who enjoys what Tyler Perry is putting out there. And why fault them? And there's a group that loves the things that Spike does. So they should enjoy that, too. Is it my taste? Maybe not, but I'm not going to fault anybody for doing what they're doing as long as people are showing up.

  

  Wanda Sykes
  • People
  • Up
  • Long

• Even without an economic downturn, women sometimes want to keep their shopping habits to themselves.

  

  Natalie Massenet
  • Women
  • Shopping
  • Habits

• I've never walked away from any of my positions. I take pride in them.

  

  Nancy Pelosi
  • Never
  • Pride
  • Away

• I like the idea of sending my Aquazurra girls out with a lucky charm under their feet.

  

  Edgardo Osorio
  • Idea
  • Lucky
  • Feet

• There are days when I'm completely obsessed with Kate Bush, and there are days when I'm completely obsessed with the Eurythmics. Then it's Aretha Franklin, then it's Lena Horne, then it's Ella Fitzgerald, then it's John Legend, then it's Michael Jackson. Music, to me, is like food, so I feel like whatever I need that day, I can get from a song.

  

  Cynthia Erivo
  • Music
  • Song
  • Food

• Going to rehearsals of school plays got me out of science. It became clear what inspired me and what dampened my spirit. The only other thing I could do at school was trampolining - it didn't seem to have much future in it.

  

  Tamsin Greig
  • School
  • Future
  • Science

• Mrs. Hopewell had no bad qualities of her own but she was able to use other people's in such a constructive way that she never felt the lack.

  

  Flannery O'Connor
  • People
  • She
  • Bad

• I was on vacation with my family when I got the scripts for 'Wanderlust' and I was trying to work on the audition while I was on vacation. I remember a big gust of wind blew the entire script into the pool, so I had to dry it with a hairdryer.

  

  Kathryn Hahn
  • Work
  • Trying
  • Family

• Most of the time my own family feels like I don't need anything, I'm tough as nails and I don't have any feelings about anything. They really think that I'm this super tough person. I have a tough exterior, but I get upset. I have feelings and all those things. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

  

  NeNe Leakes
  • Time
  • Family
  • Heart

• If you're a member of my family, whether immediate or extended, and you want to see my show, don't.

  

  Chelsea Handler
  • Family