Chelsea Handler Quotes

I try to make fun of everyone as often as possible, especially minorities.

Chelsea Handler

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Quotes to Explore

• My grandfather milked several cows twice a day and supplied the neighbours with dairy products. He liked to go visiting around the county on Saturdays, and he also enjoyed the neighbours when they came by once a week with their empty milk jars. He walked them out to their cars and hung over the driver's side window until they drove off.

  

  Kary Mullis
  • Day
  • Week
  • Grandfather

• To steal a term from one of my Twitter followers, 'Deathlok' is the 'anti-villain.' He's on the side of the bad guys, but he obviously doesn't want to be there.

  

  J. August Richards
  • Bad
  • Want
  • Twitter

• I still find it strange, I suppose, when I say to someone, 'Can you just pass me my leg?' But I don't ever think about my disability.

  

  Oscar Pistorius
  • Me
  • Strange
  • Disability

• I don't regret doing any of my films. All of them have been great learning experiences, and they have contributed to making me what I am today.

  

  Randeep Hooda
  • Great
  • Today
  • Learning

• That a majority of the Abolitionists in this place would patronize a free labor store, in preference to others, I do not doubt; but we do not muster money in Cincinnati.

  

  Gamaliel Bailey
  • Money
  • Free
  • Doubt

• Having a book censored means something. It means you have deeply offended one or more people who felt they needed to protect unsuspecting readers from your inflammatory words, thoughts, and images.

  

  Felice Picano
  • People
  • Book
  • Words

• I have always had a sense of curiosity and aspiration.

  

  Waris Ahluwalia
  • Always
  • Sense
  • Curiosity

• The American people know something is wrong as far as energy is concerned. They don't think they are being told the truth.

  

  T. Boone Pickens
  • People
  • Truth
  • American

• The kind of classic pose of a female model is to look kind of sexy and a bit annoyed.

  

  Caitlin Moran
  • Kind
  • Model
  • Look

• Smelling a crayon takes you right back to childhood. When I need to go back in time, I put it under my nose and take another hit.

  

  Randy Pausch
  • Time
  • Childhood
  • Nose

• The historian is a prophet looking backward.

  

  Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel
  • Looking
  • Prophet
  • Backward

• I do read some of the scripts from America and, even though the themes or subject of the film is very interesting, and some of the scenes are very interesting, there is a tendency that they have to explain everything. There will be no dilemma.

  

  Mads Mikkelsen
  • America
  • Interesting
  • Film

• Basketball paid for four years of my education, and I am so proud of that.

  

  Ramon Rodriguez
  • Education
  • Proud
  • Basketball

• Men always do leave off really thinking, when the last bit of wild animal dies in them.

  

  D. H. Lawrence
  • Men
  • Thinking
  • Animal

• The Alanis Morissette tour, everybody thinks that was all sitting around, lighting candles and talking intelligently about synergy and big words. That band was so gnarly. We were such scumbags. Alanis had no idea. We were like Van Halen.

  

  Taylor Hawkins Foo Fighters
  • Words
  • Band
  • Like

• I am very career minded, and I think my personality is more suited to America. I am a working mother.

  

  Victoria Beckham Spice Girls
  • America
  • Mother
  • Career

• I consider a CD or a comedy collection as a record of what I've been doing, and I try to wrap it up and start new material.

  

  Kate Clinton
  • Up
  • Comedy
  • Doing

• By plucking her petals, you do not gather the beauty of the flower.

  

  Rabindranath Tagore
  • Beauty
  • Flower
  • Gardening

• I really don't like to take the easy way out, if I can help it, on anything I do, I like to really make it a challenge. I don't know how to create by taking the easy routes. I've tried, you know, I've tried to let myself, but I always struggle to compensate.

  

  Jack White The White Stripes
  • Help
  • Myself
  • Challenge

• The web can be a fast trip to the library, giving you immediate access to a government report, or it can filter media for you, which is why I look at around 15- 20 of these sites every day.

  

  Ben Schott
  • Why
  • Giving
  • Library

• If I were to search for logic, I would not look for it among the English upper class.

  

  Francesca Messina
  • English
  • Search
  • Logic

• Dealing with a simple burglary can require 1000 process steps and 70 forms to be completed as a case goes through the Criminal Justice System. That can't be right.

  

  Theresa May
  • Dealing
  • Criminal Justice System

• Obviously it's more fun having my teammates there and having all that camaraderie, but individual workouts are not a loss.

  

  D'Brickashaw Ferguson
  • Fun
  • Loss
  • Teammates

• I try to make fun of everyone as often as possible, especially minorities.

  

  Chelsea Handler
  • Fun