S. J. Perelman Quotes
This medal (the National Book Award) together with my American Express card, will identify me worldwide ... except at Bloomingdale's.

Quotes to Explore
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I never was for telephones. Just don't like them, that's all. Anybody wants to talk to you, they can come to see you.
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I feel my story has been exercised very thoroughly and very frequently.
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The art of creation is older than the art of killing.
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My house looks like it was decorated by a 14-year old with a platinum American Express card.
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When my lady and I sit down and watch TV, I find she gets annoyed at characters because they don't do what she would do in the situation. I'm always like, 'Well, she has to do that because that's what the story is.'
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One of the first major storylines that 'All My Children' featured was Erica Kane, a rebellious daughter, and her mother, sort of a matriarchal type, who was trying to guide her daughter to a safer place.
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You don't want to put all your lead on the target. You want to leave some arrows in the quiver.
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I pinch myself daily at the good fortune of my life, you know, in many ways.
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It's important for any artist - particularly female artists - to feel completely comfortable and to know what they're trying to do.
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Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.
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I don't talk about how old I am because sometimes it can affect parts that you get in Hollywood. I don't believe that it's a necessary element. I feel that I'm a character, and I'm an actor. People focusing on my age instead of the role I'm playing can be a hindrance.
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With disadvantages enough to bring him to humility, a Scotsman is one of the proudest things alive.
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Look at market fluctuations as your friend rather than your enemy; profit from folly rather than participate in it.
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The highest percentage of African Americans own their own homes today than ever in our nation's history.
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I think that if you haven't been to the grocery store in a really long time, it's really easy to get very out of touch.
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I can only hope that my future movies will do well.
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In my previous career as a chief executive of high-tech companies, I experienced firsthand the endless possibilities when people from diverse backgrounds work together. They get to know one another and quickly learn that they share more in common than they originally thought.
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I want to collect more records from terrorists, but less records from innocent Americans. The Fourth Amendment was what we fought the Revolution over! John Adams said it was the spark that led to our war for independence, and I'm proud of standing for the Bill of Rights, and I will continue to stand for the Bill of Rights.
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The way you write a screenplay is that you close your eyes and run the movie in your head and then you write it down.
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I have actually lost a couple of roles - film roles - because a director or producer thought I looked too much like George Costanza, and I could not get out of that box.
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In this I-me society, my job is to get people to buy into something bigger than themselves.
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One of the distinguishing features of anything that aspires to the name of science is the reproducibility of experimental results.
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Whereas a man is entitled to marry three more times and that fosters great abuse, even scholars accept that. So certainly since the 1980s Shari'a courts have been established and they allow for women to go to them and they basically grant them annulment. It's not a civil divorce, they don't have the right to grant alimony or maintenance or custody.
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This medal (the National Book Award) together with my American Express card, will identify me worldwide ... except at Bloomingdale's.