David Sedaris Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I find it quite boring when people do things that are very considered and thought through. I like things best when they're just done because they're fun or beautiful, or simply because they are what that one person wanted to do at that one time.
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I worked as a telemarketer for an SAT-prep company. That was the worst of it, because I had to call people in post-Katrina New Orleans and offer them this very, very expensive SAT class. And I'm not even a good salesman.
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If you don't feel like you're ready to get your license - just because people are putting pressure on you, don't feel like you have to rush into something. Take your time, really feel confident and be ready. It doesn't matter what other people say, do what's best for you and makes you feel safe.
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My dad died, I think, at 87. So I'll be lucky if I make 87. But in a lot of cases, the younger people live longer than their parents. And they know more. My dad used to tell me he ate the hog from his rooter to his tooter. So do I when I'm not trying to lose weight.
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I really like Ariana Grande, Jessie J, and Nicki Minaj's song, the 'Bang Bang' song. It's the new 'Lady Marmalade.' So good.
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Americans are people who prefer the Continent to their own country, but refuse to learn its languages.
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Some people like just sitting down and being taken for a ride. That's a beautiful thing that fiction can do. But it's not the only thing. In television and film, people are ready to accept any kind of jump cut, but the slightest disturbance on the page ruffles their feathers.
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It takes me a long time to write, and I trust myself, so I write very sparsely, so when I do, I know it's good, you know what I mean? Rather than writing a whole bunch and having to sort out what's good and what's not.
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Can anything good come of a backward way of thinking like judging someone based on skin color? No way.
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You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
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I don't take it very seriously. You shouldn't let your success get to your head or failure get to your heart. This is most commonly said. But people don't really practise it. I don't see myself as a celebrity; it has not sunk in. I just see myself as someone doing a nine-to-six job like a techie.
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I try to do things that make me feel good. I go to yoga classes, drink a lot of water, eat healthily and keep things like alcohol and coffee to weekends. I don't overdo anything.
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Technology itself is neither good nor bad. People are good or bad.
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In general, people are afraid to acknowledge hallucinations because they immediately see them as a sign of something awful happening to the brain, whereas in most cases they're not.
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I think it's important for people of colour to have similar opportunities to white people; that's what is most important.
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The fact that the internet is so active; people can now speak to me indirectly.
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I've been fascinated by the Internet from the very start. In 2001, I had made a funny black-and-white film called 'How to Dance Properly,' a short video of me dancing to a Madonna song. I sent it to 17 of my friends on a Thursday, and by Monday, one million people a day were logging on to view it.
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People don't just love mysteries. They are obsessed with them - especially the kind that are never definitively solved.
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I work with Sally and I can see Sally doing that. She is very aggressive. Very fun loving and charming... and pushy in a very competitive way and a very healthy way and a very good actress.
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For 8 years now I've been addicted to cold turkey. When I tell people I'm quitting cold turkey, they say,'What are you quitting?', I'm fucking quitting cold turkey.
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The whole concept of "Fuck It" is "fuck it, I don't give a fuck, just fuck it," meaning fuck the relationship, fuck what the people will think of me, just fuck it, fuck everything, ya know?
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The past is what you remember, imagine you remember, convince yourself you remember, or pretend you remember.
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To those who oppose war, I ask: If not now, when? How many more corpses are necessary before this country should take action?
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I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you.
