David Sedaris Quotes
Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.

Quotes to Explore
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It was like an honor thing for me to meet 50 cause I respected his whole story.
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You can be anything. You could be the President of the United States or the inventor of the next Internet or a ninja cardio-thoracic surgeon poet, which would be awesome because you would be the first one.
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Karaoke is something that's near and dear and very close to my heart. I was a karaoke host when I was working my way through university. I was a full-time student and karaoke was my night job.
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I've had the experience of having a book praised but then it doesn't sell. Or not praised but then it sells.
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I don't like controversy.
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We love a tale of heroes and villains and conflicts requiring a neat resolution.
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The actress they'd hired had refused to appear naked in front of the camera. I didn't like to appear naked either, but the first thing I did was take off my clothes and jump into the pool completely naked.
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Inventions have long since reached their limit, and I see no hope for further development.
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You never know how long a player has left, especially with strikers. Once you turn 30, as a striker, you are usually on the way down, and playing from the age of 16, at such a high level, has to take its toll.
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If there is no criticism, you become lazy. But it should be constructive, and it should be the truth. If it's biased and there's no truth in it, then I don't care about it. If it's true, it helps me grow.
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This world is too hard for me to leave my kids, without me supervising and being there for them.
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The holy book is implanted in the hearts and minds of all the Muslims. Humiliation of the holy book represents the humiliation of our people.
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No matter what job you do, we all have a much different life than our parents had. My parents' generation had one job and then they retired. Now, people have many different jobs.
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When we set out our original program from the beginning, obviously our markets were pretty limited, and we were thinking about them mostly as U.S. shows, and they would travel like other U.S. shows have.
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All of the very important events in my life happen by chance.
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Sure, we want to know what a president believes in... but that doesn't always mean he should tell us.
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But it's not just a game of finding literary references.
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It's one of the strangest attributes of this profession that when we writers get exhausted writing one thing, we relax by writing another.
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Science doesn't in the slightest depend on trust. It depends completely on the belief that you can demonstrate something for yourself.
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Lacan, Derrida and Foucault are the perfect prophets for the weak, anxious academic personality, trapped in verbal formulas and perennially defeated by circumstances. They offer a self-exculpating cosmic explanation for the normal professorial state of resentment, alienation, dithering passivity and inaction.
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One is certain of nothing but the truth of one's own emotions.
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I'm not afraid of stereotypes. There are some truths to it - but the problem is that people keep sort of owning that one thing to be the truth.
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Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.