Demetri Martin Quotes
I got into stand-up because I love stand-up. Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punch line.

Quotes to Explore
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There was just a lot of comedy on the TV in the house, and my parents are both very funny.
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In 2004, I went onstage for the first time. They put a mike in my hand and pushed me out the door into the crowd. I did the three songs I had recorded and got out. It was the worst day of my life.
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Clothes have to be simple and comfortable.
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I think for being not unsympathetic that their appearance may also appear, so differently it, must; similarly as with animals, which meet us in very different forms, which look somehow harmonious however all. On exactly such forms I would stand.
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I respect music, I do. I love it.
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Why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me.
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The use of solar energy has not been opened up because the oil industry does not own the sun.
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In Hollywood they're getting younger, but believe me, it's not the food. It's the plastic surgery.
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I played didgeridoo from a young age - on the vacuum cleaner, initially.
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I can't do choreographed movement. It has to come from my heart... and my pelvis.
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My 'Big Bang Theory' costar Johnny Galecki went off the grid. He bought a huge ranch and goes there every weekend. He keeps telling me to do the same thing, but I don't know if I'm that committed. The Valley is as far off the grid as I'm going to go.
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The only instrument I can play is piano. Whenever I make songs at home, I play the piano and make them on the piano.
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I think I'm going to be around awhile.
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I was always a fan of the game, and I wouldn't have taken this job if I wasn't a fan of the game.
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I won't leave any unfinished manuscripts.
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What kind of society have we become when children in a great city cannot rely on mothers or fathers for a bowl of cereal in the morning and a brown bag with a sandwich and apple in it for lunch?
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I think, by nature you know, I'm very attracted and I gravitate toward the very strong girl who can watch a ballgame, but who's also extremely feminine.
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Al Qaeda has overplayed their hand. What the al Qaeda do when they go into a town or village or a neighborhood inside a major city is they get a stranglehold on the people themselves. They force the men to wear beards and the women to be properly costumed and essentially completely covered up.
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I'm trying to escape the shackles of a pen and a pad. I've sat in sessions with Jay-Z where he doesn't write anything down. He'll come up with the most incredible triple entendre, all in his head - it's amazing.
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Ethnically, the Germans are Teutonic...being made up of Vandals, Gepidae, and Goths, all of whom emigrated - south from Sweden in about 500 BC; why they emigrated is not exactly clear, but many scholars believe it was because they saw the way Sweden was going, i.e. neutral.
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On several occasions, I discussed with Bill Clinton the subject of inquiries by the media about our relationship. He told me to continue to deny our relationship, that if we would stick together, everything would be okay.
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Books have always helped me make sense of things. With any life experience, you can find someone who has documented it in a poetic way.
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Honestly, with stats and things like that, I try not to think about them. I just find that the more you think about goals and assists - what you need to do and accomplish - the more you tend to fall short. When you hope for something and you want something, it comes to you.
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I got into stand-up because I love stand-up. Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punch line.