Demetri Martin Quotes
I got into stand-up because I love stand-up. Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punch line.

Quotes to Explore
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There was just a lot of comedy on the TV in the house, and my parents are both very funny.
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In 2004, I went onstage for the first time. They put a mike in my hand and pushed me out the door into the crowd. I did the three songs I had recorded and got out. It was the worst day of my life.
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Clothes have to be simple and comfortable.
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I think for being not unsympathetic that their appearance may also appear, so differently it, must; similarly as with animals, which meet us in very different forms, which look somehow harmonious however all. On exactly such forms I would stand.
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I respect music, I do. I love it.
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Why do I talk about the benefits of failure? Simply because failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me.
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The use of solar energy has not been opened up because the oil industry does not own the sun.
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In Hollywood they're getting younger, but believe me, it's not the food. It's the plastic surgery.
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I played didgeridoo from a young age - on the vacuum cleaner, initially.
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I can't do choreographed movement. It has to come from my heart... and my pelvis.
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My 'Big Bang Theory' costar Johnny Galecki went off the grid. He bought a huge ranch and goes there every weekend. He keeps telling me to do the same thing, but I don't know if I'm that committed. The Valley is as far off the grid as I'm going to go.
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The only instrument I can play is piano. Whenever I make songs at home, I play the piano and make them on the piano.
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I think I'm going to be around awhile.
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I was always a fan of the game, and I wouldn't have taken this job if I wasn't a fan of the game.
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I won't leave any unfinished manuscripts.
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What kind of society have we become when children in a great city cannot rely on mothers or fathers for a bowl of cereal in the morning and a brown bag with a sandwich and apple in it for lunch?
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I think, by nature you know, I'm very attracted and I gravitate toward the very strong girl who can watch a ballgame, but who's also extremely feminine.
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Al Qaeda has overplayed their hand. What the al Qaeda do when they go into a town or village or a neighborhood inside a major city is they get a stranglehold on the people themselves. They force the men to wear beards and the women to be properly costumed and essentially completely covered up.
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I am deluded enough to think I can bring something to the table.
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I went in, and there, in the front room, a converted bedroom, sat the first radio I had ever seen. The equipment was so bulky that it took up one entire wall of the bedroom. The set, which could send or receive signals, was tuned to KDKA in Pittsburgh, and I remember being completely flabbergasted at the thought of sounds coming from that box.
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I suffer panic attacks which has made me really conscious about my fitness and I have become addicted to jogging. It might sound odd but a lot of good has come out of it. My fans send letters saying they have taken up jogging because I do it.
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When men have money and power they get turned on, sexually. They get horny as hell. Can't imagine why, though.
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Mary Jo and I have three teenagers who are in their last years at home. In addition, I was just offered and accepted a position with Williams College as a visiting lecturer on leadership beginning in February 2017, and anticipate accepting other academic positions shortly.
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I got into stand-up because I love stand-up. Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punch line.