Demetri Martin Quotes
I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'

Quotes to Explore
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Anyone familiar with my work knows that I am extremely critical of all religious faiths.
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When you are studying jazz, the best thing to do is listen to records or listen to live music. It isn't as though you go to a teacher. You just listen as much as you can and absorb everything.
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My health is fine.
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The great mass of women throughout history have been confined to the cultural level of animal life in providing the male with sexual outlet and exercising the animal functions of reproduction and care of the young.
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Science is not everything, but science is very beautiful.
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There are lots of films I wish stopped at installment number one. I like 'Back to the Future Part II' and 'Part III' enough, but I still like the ending of the first one better.
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I did an 'Our Town' in San Diego in the seventies with amateurs that I can tear up just thinking about.
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Long Kiss Goodnight has a huge cult following. They could make another version of that movie right now and make a lot of money.
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I live with myself. I wake up with myself, I eat, and I take a dump with myself. I don't see anything special there. I do all the same things other human beings and creatures do. I don't see any need to be telling the data of the day of this particular human being by posting it on online. It's not interesting to me.
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I went to my boss, and I said, 'Look, I'd like to design these ties because I think they could be new.' He said, 'The world isn't ready for Ralph Lauren.' I never forgot that because... I thought that was a compliment.
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England was the first true colonial power to use its dominion over a large part of Africa, the Middle East, Asia, Australia, North America, and many Caribbean islands, in the first half of the 20th century.
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My writing has been largely concerned with the depicting of Negro life in America.
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The First Amendment applies to rogues and scoundrels. You don't lose your First Amendment rights because of a sleazy personality, or even for having committed a crime. Felons in jail are protected by the First Amendment.
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There is no better way to bring people together than with desserts.
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Let's create a legal system that can work.
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I didn't hang around films. I don't know if I'd ever seen Hitchcock's The Lady Vanishes.
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You got to be rigorous in your appraisal system. The biggest cowards are managers who don't let people know where they stand.
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To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
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I've had four children and I've done a good job and I'm happy in life.
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Save the taxpayer's money by canceling the Ares 1 and V.
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Whoever has lost a fight in the UFC and hasn't wanted to fight that guy the next day shouldn't be in the sport.
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My philosophy is to make an offer that the other guy can't refuse, because he thinks there's no way he can't win.
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I'd love to work with Sufjan Stevens. He so gets it. He's amazing.
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I was walking in the park and this guy waved at me. Then he said, 'I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.' I said, 'I am.'