Demetri Martin Quotes
I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale.
Quotes to Explore
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I never was for telephones. Just don't like them, that's all. Anybody wants to talk to you, they can come to see you.
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My house looks like it was decorated by a 14-year old with a platinum American Express card.
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My mail address is open for anyone, and I read all my mails by myself.
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All of the agreed-upon pariahs throughout pop-culture history put their identities into the thing we decry. And yet we derive our own identities from the act of hating. We connect on the things we are disappointed in. Some may argue that nothing in history gathers a crowd like complaining about Lady Gaga's meat dress.
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Golf is 90% mental. Once you know how to hold the club, swing it, it's all in the mind.
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Every single administration in American political history has put cronies and pals and donors into political positions. But normally those people become the ambassador to Liechtenstein or the deputy undersecretary of commerce.
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The reason why men do not obey us, is because they see the mud at the bottom of our eye.
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It's one thing to break stuff and damage people's possessions, but when you start aiming at the ideology of America, that's dangerous comedy.
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Listening is more important than anything else because that's what music is. Somebody is playing something and you're receiving it. It is sending and receiving.
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After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
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I've never taken myself too seriously.
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'Happiness is a Small Politician' - my mantra then and forever more.
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I don't like your I-can-use-anything-as-an-adjective attitude.
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He who does not value life does not deserve it.
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In my career, I really set out not to develop too strong a persona so that you wouldn't have a hard time imagining me in any given role. I wanted to pleasantly confuse the audience on who I was.
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We don't know, ultimately, if we'll end up in San Francisco, but we're talking about keeping the house. It would be nice to always have a place here.
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It's always fun when you're doing the CGI stuff, to actually get to work with someone who is real, who's there.
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I don't like to try very hard. Most of the time it's just jeans, a T-shirt and Converse trainers. Casual, comfortable and boyish is how I'd describe my look. The way people wear clothes makes them stylish, rather than the clothes themselves.
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It must be said that charity can, in no way, exist along with mortal sin.
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Technology frightens me to death. It's designed by engineers to impress other engineers, and they always come with instruction booklets that are written by engineers for other engineers — which is why almost no technology ever works.
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Nobody should pin their hopes on a miracle.
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And if Sarah Palin whose Web site put and today scrubbed bull's-eyes targets on 20 Representatives, including Gabby Giffords, does not repudiate her own part - however tangential - in amplifying violence and violent imagery in American politics, she must be dismissed from politics. She must be repudiated by the members of her own party. And if they fail to do so, each one of them must be judged to have silently defended this tactic that today proved so awfully foretelling. And they must in turn be dismissed by the responsible members of their own party.
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I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale.
