Demetri Martin Quotes
I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale.
Quotes to Explore
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I never was for telephones. Just don't like them, that's all. Anybody wants to talk to you, they can come to see you.
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My house looks like it was decorated by a 14-year old with a platinum American Express card.
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My mail address is open for anyone, and I read all my mails by myself.
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All of the agreed-upon pariahs throughout pop-culture history put their identities into the thing we decry. And yet we derive our own identities from the act of hating. We connect on the things we are disappointed in. Some may argue that nothing in history gathers a crowd like complaining about Lady Gaga's meat dress.
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Golf is 90% mental. Once you know how to hold the club, swing it, it's all in the mind.
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Every single administration in American political history has put cronies and pals and donors into political positions. But normally those people become the ambassador to Liechtenstein or the deputy undersecretary of commerce.
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The reason why men do not obey us, is because they see the mud at the bottom of our eye.
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It's one thing to break stuff and damage people's possessions, but when you start aiming at the ideology of America, that's dangerous comedy.
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Listening is more important than anything else because that's what music is. Somebody is playing something and you're receiving it. It is sending and receiving.
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After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
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I've never taken myself too seriously.
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'Happiness is a Small Politician' - my mantra then and forever more.
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I don't like your I-can-use-anything-as-an-adjective attitude.
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He who does not value life does not deserve it.
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In my career, I really set out not to develop too strong a persona so that you wouldn't have a hard time imagining me in any given role. I wanted to pleasantly confuse the audience on who I was.
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We don't know, ultimately, if we'll end up in San Francisco, but we're talking about keeping the house. It would be nice to always have a place here.
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It's always fun when you're doing the CGI stuff, to actually get to work with someone who is real, who's there.
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I don't like to try very hard. Most of the time it's just jeans, a T-shirt and Converse trainers. Casual, comfortable and boyish is how I'd describe my look. The way people wear clothes makes them stylish, rather than the clothes themselves.
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Modeling's actually been treating me a lot better at age 24 than when I was 21. Young girls get their hopes up and have fifteen minutes of fame; it's really sad, because there are very few models who last anymore.
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The criminal is trying to solve his immediate problems.
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To me, comedy is a game.
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Myrnin: "There is no drama so great as that of a teenage girl." Claire: "Except yours.
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A king there was once reigning, Who had a goodly flea, Him loved he without feigning, As his own son were he!
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I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale.
