Demetri Martin Quotes
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Sometimes I use my jokes as building blocks for larger bits. I like to draw and play music, so sometimes I do those things along with the jokes.
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It's very easy to go through your whole life and never really get anything done or have any real meaningful interactions or relationships. All of a sudden you're dead, and I'm going to say that's got to be a letdown.
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When I was a kid, I always wanted to live in California because I liked skateboarding.
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It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.
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As a creative person, you want to have a foothold and sense of progress.
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I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.
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The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.
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Usually, I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down.
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Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.
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Nothing wise was ever printed upon an apron.
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I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming.
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Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.
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The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience.
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I tend to avoid televisions, politics, and places with velvet ropes.
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Whenever I'm on my computer, I don't type 'lol'. I type 'lqtm' - laugh quietly to myself. It's more honest.
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I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you'd be like, 'huh? What the hell is this?' But if it's in a fruit basket you're like, 'this is nice!'