Denis Leary Quotes
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Did I miss a fucking meeting with the coffee? You can get every other flavor except COFFEE FLAVORED COFFEE! They got mochaccino, they've got chococcino, frapaccino, capaccino, rapaccino, Al Pacino, WHAT THE FUCK! www.whattheFUCK.com!!
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The best comedy audiences in the country and this is tried and true, I'm not just saying it, in my opinion are Boston, Atlanta, and Chicago.
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Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish.
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If I'm president, there are going to be government vans that drive around and pick up people who shouldn't be wearing certain clothing. Talk about lack of civil rights - I'm sorry, I'm pulling you right off the street, and we're giving you clothes that you're going to be O.K. in.
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I think it's a shame when you come across young actors and musicians who haven't had the time to learn their craft. It doesn't matter if it's acting or music; you really have to learn how to do it from the bottom up because unless you have a great work ethic... fame is a terrible thing to have.
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Vacuuming is great. I do the laundry. I love washing machines. I'm the maid in my house.
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(talking about The Lord Of The Dance) Have you seen that show? If you have, GET OUT! Get the hell out of my show right now!
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I'm the Lord of the Dance! Fuck Michael Flatley, it's me! ...Who has the balls to call themselves the lord of anything, huh? C'mon, last time somebody called themself lord on this planet, they got CRUCIFIED, Michael! And we know where the hammer and the nails are! We could put you up in a couple of minutes!
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There's not going to be a 'Rescue Me' movie. Not a chance.
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When I was a kid, Dunkin' Donuts had two things: coffee and donuts, and that was it! You took the donut, dunked it in the coffee, thus the fucking title of the place!
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I've always had a thing for Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer or Halle Berry in tight leather pants, with the boots - I'm pretty good with either one.
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I'm still pretty self-centered, greedy and angry.
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One thing that's great about firefighters: If they don't have the equipment they desperately need, they don't have the help, they don't care. They'll do it on their own.
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Most people don't know how underpaid and often ill-equipped urban fire departments are across North America.
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If you want a long-term relationship that doesn't require a lot of work, I say, get a dog. They love you no matter what. But when it comes to humans, there's no secret; you really have to appreciate the person every single day.
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I'm high as a kite and my teeth are green, merry fucking Christmas!
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Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.
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I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.
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I love to smoke. I smoke seven thousand packs a day!
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I went to school with Steven Wright, who was the shyest guy I knew, and one day someone suddenly told me that he was in a club doing standup comedy. I went down to his club and he was great. Another friend of mine, who was pretty much a thief by trade, was hosting the show. So I thought, 'If these guys can do it, then so can I.'
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I'm not really a Spider-Man fan. I'm more of a Batman guy.
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I know gay - gay people who aren't married who are better parents than some, you know, straight people I know who are married.
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I write what I think is funny and I write from a sense of popping a balloon or a sense of injustice, whether it's about yourself, or whether it's about something else. It's my worldview; it doesn't mean that everybody has to agree with it.
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I learned a long time ago, if you want to keep your friends in show business, don't get famous. Because as soon as you get famous, a lot of the people you used to know, who didn't, become incredibly bitter and jealous. It's part of the territory.