Denis Leary Quotes
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There are some guys I know for a fact, like Louis C.K., who always talk about how not-great of an actor he is, and he's terrific on his show. But I know Louis would play a fantastic dramatic role in something, too. He just needs somebody to grab him and say, 'Come in here and do this.'
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You can't teach somebody how to be funny. You're either funny, or you ain't.
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Most of the women placed in the fire department here in New York never passed the physical test. And a fat guy or a short guy, or anybody not passing the test in a life-or-death job, leads to friction.
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I think daycare is great for people who have to work two jobs. My problem is with people who are dropping kids off at daycare because they want to go out and spend the day golfing or getting their nails done. You know what I mean? That's not why they invented daycare.
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I'm the Lord of the Dance! Fuck Michael Flatley, it's me! ...Who has the balls to call themselves the lord of anything, huh? C'mon, last time somebody called themself lord on this planet, they got CRUCIFIED, Michael! And we know where the hammer and the nails are! We could put you up in a couple of minutes!
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I love Santa Monica and Venice because I like the beach. I have a lot of friends in that area.
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I don't want a president like me! I suck, okay. I want an elitist, smart guy.
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Temptation's something you have to deal with even if you're not famous. It's harder when you're famous because it's a lot more in your face, and that makes it a little more difficult to walk away from sometimes.
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The best thing about series TV is that everyone you work with is hand-picked, as compared to working on a film.
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I wanted to be a hockey player. Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used. I was terrible in school and actually said, 'I'm going to be a hockey player.'
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There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.
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I wasn't the best student. I wasn't stupid, but I wasn't paying a lot of attention.
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Most people don't know how underpaid and often ill-equipped urban fire departments are across North America.
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How many whales do we really need? I figure five. One for each ocean.
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I'm not really a Spider-Man fan. I'm more of a Batman guy.
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Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used.
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Cranberry Ale! Cranberry NUT CRUNCH FUCKING ALE! Cranberries and beer do not go together! One's for bladder infections, one's for getting DRUNK!
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I think it's a shame when you come across young actors and musicians who haven't had the time to learn their craft. It doesn't matter if it's acting or music; you really have to learn how to do it from the bottom up because unless you have a great work ethic... fame is a terrible thing to have.
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I didn't raise my kids with the fear of God.
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I remember 9/11; we had 'Comics Come Home' about a month after those events. That night, even the comedians were concerned. Would the audience be ready to laugh? It was a release for everyone.
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George Carlin was great right up to the end of his life. But Richard Pryor was probably the best, most gifted stand-up comedian who will ever live.
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Most movies suck, even the independent ones. Hollywood is like baseball: Hit three good ones out of 10 and you're a Hall of Famer.
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I love to smoke. I smoke seven thousand packs a day!
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Vacuuming is great. I do the laundry. I love washing machines. I'm the maid in my house.