Denis Leary Quotes
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One thing that's great about firefighters: If they don't have the equipment they desperately need, they don't have the help, they don't care. They'll do it on their own.
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I went to school with Steven Wright, who was the shyest guy I knew, and one day someone suddenly told me that he was in a club doing standup comedy. I went down to his club and he was great. Another friend of mine, who was pretty much a thief by trade, was hosting the show. So I thought, 'If these guys can do it, then so can I.'
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There's not going to be a 'Rescue Me' movie. Not a chance.
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When I was a kid, Dunkin' Donuts had two things: coffee and donuts, and that was it! You took the donut, dunked it in the coffee, thus the fucking title of the place!
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Jon Stewart is exactly the same guy he's always been, only with money. He knows that the moment he really believes he's important, the funny goes away and he becomes Bill O'Reilly, except shorter and Jewish.
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You can have good writing, but a great actor will make it feel and sound like great writing. You can have great writing, and mediocre actors will make it feel mediocre. Without the actors, you have nothing.
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The best comedy audiences in the country and this is tried and true, I'm not just saying it, in my opinion are Boston, Atlanta, and Chicago.
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Where I grew up, the basketball courts were rarely used.
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Vacuuming is great. I do the laundry. I love washing machines. I'm the maid in my house.
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I'm high as a kite and my teeth are green, merry fucking Christmas!
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I learned a long time ago, if you want to keep your friends in show business, don't get famous. Because as soon as you get famous, a lot of the people you used to know, who didn't, become incredibly bitter and jealous. It's part of the territory.
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If you want a long-term relationship that doesn't require a lot of work, I say, get a dog. They love you no matter what. But when it comes to humans, there's no secret; you really have to appreciate the person every single day.
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I'm not really a Spider-Man fan. I'm more of a Batman guy.
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I'm still pretty self-centered, greedy and angry.
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I write what I think is funny and I write from a sense of popping a balloon or a sense of injustice, whether it's about yourself, or whether it's about something else. It's my worldview; it doesn't mean that everybody has to agree with it.
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Most people don't know how underpaid and often ill-equipped urban fire departments are across North America.
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I think it's a shame when you come across young actors and musicians who haven't had the time to learn their craft. It doesn't matter if it's acting or music; you really have to learn how to do it from the bottom up because unless you have a great work ethic... fame is a terrible thing to have.
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I love to smoke. I smoke seven thousand packs a day!
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I'm the Lord of the Dance! Fuck Michael Flatley, it's me! ...Who has the balls to call themselves the lord of anything, huh? C'mon, last time somebody called themself lord on this planet, they got CRUCIFIED, Michael! And we know where the hammer and the nails are! We could put you up in a couple of minutes!
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There are some guys I know for a fact, like Louis C.K., who always talk about how not-great of an actor he is, and he's terrific on his show. But I know Louis would play a fantastic dramatic role in something, too. He just needs somebody to grab him and say, 'Come in here and do this.'
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Hockey's my favorite sport.
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The first movie I saw where it convinced me I could be an actor was 'Mean Streets,' so whenever I see Robert De Niro and he says, 'Hi, Denis,' it's still a really big deal.
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I'm pretty much a chocolate guy. I'm up for any type of chocolate. Any chocolate.
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When I was doing standup, I always wanted to get out of the standup world and take it back into the theatrical world, like with 'No Cure For Cancer.'