Bob Saget Quotes
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Full House gave me Tourette's. We would be on the set, and, action! 'Okay, Michelle, you can't have a horse in the house-' and, cut! 'Cock shit fuck!'
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I have a feeling I'm going to wake up one day and say 'I can't do dirty stuff anymore, I want to go all clean.' I'll do clean stuff too, I like to entertain people. Then they egged me on; we shot it at The Laugh Factory.
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I was so depressed for so many years over trying to become a working comedian that my sense of self-worth would plummet.
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I don't like the negative of reality tv - the 'you're no good, so you have to leave, I choose you, but I thought you really loved me.' It's all about how bad people are and I just hate that. I like Pimp my Ride where someone is helping somebody.
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People learn English from 'Full House.' Candace's husband, Valeri Bure, he learned to speak English watching it... 'Aw, nuts.' 'You got it, dude.'
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I don't roll like that but I've never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that's good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that's a little disturbing.
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I am a fortunate man in that all three of my daughters are exceptional. Very high beings, very smart people, very wonderful and very brilliant, very beautiful. They're all artists.
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This woman woke up to see me and John Stamos banging on her windows. She must have thought she died and went to sitcom hell.
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I'm doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it's fantastic and it makes me very happy. I'm dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I'm working on a new tv show for cable and it's not set up yet.
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I've just never been a person that was political or religiously savvy. Except for the fact that I was born Jewish. That gives me 10 circumcision jokes.
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I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
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I never expected to live this long.
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I think Desperate Housewives is a pretty good show, I watch it, I like it and I don't love reality tv that much. I do watch some, I've got three daughters so we'll watch the good stuff, the fun stuff.
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I've taken Midol before. My daughters find that hilarious. I had a headache and cramps, and there were no other pain relievers with caffeine in the house.
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As soon as I go into a dark subject, like discussing the people I've loved and lost, I off-road into absurdist comedy perversion. It's both a means of protection and a kind of denial, a blessing and a curse. Wait, it's not a blessing at all. I guess it would be a bad habit and a curse.
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It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
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Unless cameras were rolling, I was pretty much not Danny Tanner.
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It's interesting to talk to young comedians. I love it because it makes me go, 'Oh, that's how I can be funny.'
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That would be a good public service announcement for Nickelodeon: 'Hi, this is Bob Saget. Don't fuck that shit. Stay in school. And read!'
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I really love making people laugh.
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Now people want what the movie was about, which is violent comedy. And that's really what The Aristocrats is based on - what will a family do out of desperation.
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I wasn't the first choice for the role of Danny Tanner. Betty White was. Not true, but there was another actor whom they had shot the pilot with.
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I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn't get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn't join a biker club.
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I've met so many remarkable people so far, coming up through stand-up all these years, who just aren't alive anymore. Because they are dead. Some really great people who helped change my life and career, people like Richard Pryor, Sam Kinison, Rodney Dangerfield, Johnny Carson.