Mallory Ortberg Quotes
I'm on Twitter a lot of the day because I really like Twitter. It's great for jokes. But when I'm writing, I can't do anything else. I can't even listen to music. I just have to write, and then I can do something else. I can't multitask.
Quotes to Explore
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I never want to sound preachy about youth and feminism, but I feel like there aren't enough young people coming out about their concerns and opinions.
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The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
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Neil Gaiman's 'Sandman' just rocked my world in the late '80s and early '90s. I couldn't read them fast enough.
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People first concern themselves with meeting their basic needs; only afterwards, do they pursue any higher needs.
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There are moments when I can't believe I'm as old as I am. But I feel better physically than I did 10 years ago. I don't think, Oh God, I'm missing something.
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It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels.
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The great mass of women throughout history have been confined to the cultural level of animal life in providing the male with sexual outlet and exercising the animal functions of reproduction and care of the young.
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Normally, I don't like explaining songs. I don't want to kill anyone's interpretation or the story they want to make for themselves.
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I think R. Kelly's range is so vast and broad that in order to stimulate himself creatively as an artist, he has to step so, so far outside the box, or else he feels like he's not challenging himself.
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I'm committed to the goal of Senate Bill 324, and that is to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.
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A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.
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Punishment cannot heal spirits, can only break them.
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It is ingrained in all living creatures, first of all, to preserve their own safety, to guard against what is harmful, to strive for what is advantageous.
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At the U.N., I routinely encounter countries that do not want to impose sanctions or even to enforce those already on the books. The hard-line sanctions skeptics have their own self-interested reasons for opposing sanctions, but they ground their opposition in claims that America uses sanctions to inflict punishment for punishment's sake.
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As an actor, you don't want to play a one-dimensional character.
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We may define therapy as a search for value.
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There are other ways of finding satisfaction, recipes for human happiness, enjoyment, dignified and meaningful, gratifying life, than increased consumption that increases production.
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I've definitely become smuttier. When I first started out, I had these aspirations: 'I'm not going to do jokes about anything crude because I'm bigger and better than that.' But then, I don't know... It makes me laugh, so I started doing it.
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Half a world away nations that once lived under oppression and tyranny are now budding democracies due in large part to America 's leadership and the sacrifices of our military.
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Who was it who said that a wise man speaks when he has something to say, but a fool speaks because he must?
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The horrific damage of 9/11 did not end when those buildings came down.
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I have nothing but scorn for all weird ideas other than my own.
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I'm on Twitter a lot of the day because I really like Twitter. It's great for jokes. But when I'm writing, I can't do anything else. I can't even listen to music. I just have to write, and then I can do something else. I can't multitask.
