Mallory Ortberg Quotes

I'm on Twitter a lot of the day because I really like Twitter. It's great for jokes. But when I'm writing, I can't do anything else. I can't even listen to music. I just have to write, and then I can do something else. I can't multitask.

Mallory Ortberg

• Great
• Music
• Writing
• Day

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• Nuclear power plants must be prepared to withstand everything from earthquakes to tsunamis, from fires to floods to acts of terrorism.

  

  Ban Ki-moon
  • Power
  • Plants
  • Be Prepared

• I never want to sound preachy about youth and feminism, but I feel like there aren't enough young people coming out about their concerns and opinions.

  

  Eden Sher
  • People
  • Sound
  • Youth

• Most actors go, 'I read the script and fell in love with it'; I fall in love with the directors.

  

  Sam Worthington
  • Fall
  • Actors
  • Directors

• The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

  

  Victor Borge
  • Difference
  • VIolin
  • Viola

• Neil Gaiman's 'Sandman' just rocked my world in the late '80s and early '90s. I couldn't read them fast enough.

  

  Tamora Pierce
  • World
  • Late
  • Fast

• People first concern themselves with meeting their basic needs; only afterwards, do they pursue any higher needs.

  

  Abdolkarim Soroush
  • People
  • First
  • Meeting

• There are moments when I can't believe I'm as old as I am. But I feel better physically than I did 10 years ago. I don't think, Oh God, I'm missing something.

  

  Madonna Breakfast Club
  • God
  • Believe
  • Moments

• It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels.

  

  Saint Augustine
  • Men
  • Pride
  • Humility

• The great mass of women throughout history have been confined to the cultural level of animal life in providing the male with sexual outlet and exercising the animal functions of reproduction and care of the young.

  

  Kate Millett
  • Life
  • Great
  • Women

• Normally, I don't like explaining songs. I don't want to kill anyone's interpretation or the story they want to make for themselves.

  

  Oliver Sim The xx
  • Want
  • Like
  • Story

• I think R. Kelly's range is so vast and broad that in order to stimulate himself creatively as an artist, he has to step so, so far outside the box, or else he feels like he's not challenging himself.

  

  T.I.
  • Think
  • Artist
  • Step

• I'm committed to the goal of Senate Bill 324, and that is to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

  

  Kate Brown
  • Goal
  • Senate
  • Emissions

• A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.

  

  E. W. Howe
  • Good
  • Man
  • Advice

• Punishment cannot heal spirits, can only break them.

  

  Barbara Deming
  • Punishment
  • Only
  • Heal

• It is ingrained in all living creatures, first of all, to preserve their own safety, to guard against what is harmful, to strive for what is advantageous.

  

  Saint Ambrose
  • First
  • Safety
  • Strive

• At the U.N., I routinely encounter countries that do not want to impose sanctions or even to enforce those already on the books. The hard-line sanctions skeptics have their own self-interested reasons for opposing sanctions, but they ground their opposition in claims that America uses sanctions to inflict punishment for punishment's sake.

  

  Samantha Power
  • America
  • Want
  • Punishment

• As an actor, you don't want to play a one-dimensional character.

  

  Olga Kurylenko
  • Character
  • Want
  • Play

• In the time I spent with him, Jurgen Klopp was enigmatic, larger than life, and extremely quick-witted. He is quite unique as a football manager in many ways, and that is what makes him so entertaining.

  

  Gary Lineker
  • Life
  • Time
  • Football

• We may define therapy as a search for value.

  

  Abraham Maslow
  • May
  • Value
  • Search

• I wish we could not ever get recognised on the streets, do no selfies, and still perform music all over the world. Unfortunately I don't think that's going to be the case, but I'm doing my best to just keep my feet on the ground and my eyes on the prize.

  

  Lukas Forchhammer Lukas Graham
  • World
  • Music
  • Wish

• I love planting. I love digging holes, putting plants in, tapping them in. And I love weeding, but I don't like tidying up the garden afterwards.

  

  Jamaica Kincaid
  • Up
  • Garden

• Music was our wife, and we loved her. And we stayed with her, and we clothed her, and we put diamond rings on her hands.

  

  Lionel Hampton
  • Music
  • Wife
  • Diamond

• Music deals with time and timing. It's so magical, but when you get into it, every little sound and every little space between the sounds, it's critical, so critical. And if it's not there, it not only feels wrong, but it ruins things.

  

  David Lynch The Platters
  • Time
  • Music
  • Space

• I'm on Twitter a lot of the day because I really like Twitter. It's great for jokes. But when I'm writing, I can't do anything else. I can't even listen to music. I just have to write, and then I can do something else. I can't multitask.

  

  Mallory Ortberg
  • Great
  • Music
  • Writing