Mallory Ortberg Quotes
I'm on Twitter a lot of the day because I really like Twitter. It's great for jokes. But when I'm writing, I can't do anything else. I can't even listen to music. I just have to write, and then I can do something else. I can't multitask.
Quotes to Explore
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I never want to sound preachy about youth and feminism, but I feel like there aren't enough young people coming out about their concerns and opinions.
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People first concern themselves with meeting their basic needs; only afterwards, do they pursue any higher needs.
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There are moments when I can't believe I'm as old as I am. But I feel better physically than I did 10 years ago. I don't think, Oh God, I'm missing something.
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It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels.
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The great mass of women throughout history have been confined to the cultural level of animal life in providing the male with sexual outlet and exercising the animal functions of reproduction and care of the young.
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Normally, I don't like explaining songs. I don't want to kill anyone's interpretation or the story they want to make for themselves.
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I think R. Kelly's range is so vast and broad that in order to stimulate himself creatively as an artist, he has to step so, so far outside the box, or else he feels like he's not challenging himself.
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I'm committed to the goal of Senate Bill 324, and that is to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.
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A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.
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Punishment cannot heal spirits, can only break them.
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It is ingrained in all living creatures, first of all, to preserve their own safety, to guard against what is harmful, to strive for what is advantageous.
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As an actor, you don't want to play a one-dimensional character.
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There are other ways of finding satisfaction, recipes for human happiness, enjoyment, dignified and meaningful, gratifying life, than increased consumption that increases production.
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I've definitely become smuttier. When I first started out, I had these aspirations: 'I'm not going to do jokes about anything crude because I'm bigger and better than that.' But then, I don't know... It makes me laugh, so I started doing it.
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All the big online retailers are looking at how to enter the Russian market.
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I always consider Shakespeare like a huge room. I mean, you open the door, and you can go anywhere.
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Our goal is a title. With LeBron, we are in 'win now' mode.
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I truly do have the most amazing child on the face of the earth. I know all parents say that about their child, but Taylor truly is special.
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One moment you appear to be riding the crest of a wave, only to have the rug pulled away from you, bringing you back down to earth with a sickening thud.
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One of the privileges of the great is to witness catastrophes from a terrace.
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Nancy Lopez has always been a role model of mine... so to have the opportunity to play for her and spend time with her has been amazing.
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The felonious five in their Supreme Court decision never said Gore did anything improperly in Florida.
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Few people know how to be old.
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I'm on Twitter a lot of the day because I really like Twitter. It's great for jokes. But when I'm writing, I can't do anything else. I can't even listen to music. I just have to write, and then I can do something else. I can't multitask.
