Mallory Ortberg Quotes

Anything where I get to write a lot of jokes and have a lot of creative control - that's all I want.

Mallory Ortberg

• Want
• Control
• Creative

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Quotes to Explore

• Ozzy has dyslexia.

  

  Zakk Wylde Black Label Society
  • Dyslexia
  • Ozzy

• I attended the bedside of a friend who was dying in a Dublin hospital. She lived her last hours in a public ward with a television blaring out a football match, all but drowning our final conversation.

  

  Gabriel Byrne
  • Friend
  • Football
  • Dying

• A lot of my work involves instilling objects with the power of touch - a transference of soul, spirit, energy through actions.

  

  Dan Colen
  • Work
  • Power
  • Soul

• I love to smell like roses, literally all day!

  

  Rachel Roy
  • Like
  • Smell
  • Roses

• There can be no great courage where there is no confidence or assurance, and half the battle is in the conviction that we can do what we undertake.

  

  Orison Swett Marden
  • Great
  • Confidence
  • Courage

• Writing for children hadn't occurred to me when I was younger, but nine years of teaching in the upper elementary grades had given me a deep appreciation of the gifts and graces that are specific to individuals with 10 or 11 years of experience as human beings.

  

  Zilpha Keatley Snyder
  • Writing
  • Children
  • Experience

• The horror genre is not my favorite. I think it's fun, there's a great place for it and I get a kick out of it, but some stuff I'm too old for. You can't just take 10 guys and stick them in a cabin and off them one at a time - I'm not vested.

  

  Jackie Earle Haley
  • Time
  • Great
  • Fun

• I don't think you get to be pope without making some enemies, like you do when you're president.

  

  Viggo Mortensen
  • Think
  • You
  • President

• After all those years in Asia, I don't have to do promotion anymore. We just release a Jackie Chan movie and - Boom! - people go.

  

  Jackie Chan
  • People
  • Movie
  • Release

• I've always been excited by rotoscoping, the technique used in films like 'Waking Life,' which fuses animation with real-life emotion. It seemed like it was a process ripe for innovation.

  

  Aaron Koblin
  • Life
  • Real
  • Process

• There's a smartphone gait: the slow sidewalk weave that comes from being lost in conversation rather than looking where you're going.

  

  Nancy Gibbs
  • Lost
  • Conversation
  • Slow

• If liberalism is to mean anything at all, it is duty bound to support without hesitation the dissenting individual over the group, the heretic over the orthodox, innovation over stagnation, and free speech over offense.

  

  Maajid Nawaz
  • Free
  • Support
  • Innovation

• A solid family, as they say. They join me on location if they have a chance, but I can also be home three or four months doing nothing, so I probably see my kids more than people who work constantly all year long. If that changes, we'll have to have a family meeting.

  

  Mads Mikkelsen
  • People
  • Work
  • Long

• In my next life, I want to be a housecat. Naps all the time!

  

  Laura Anne Gilman
  • Life
  • Time
  • Want

• I'm a very driven, ambitious, positive person. But I'm a spiritual person as well.

  

  Victoria Beckham Spice Girls
  • Spiritual
  • Positive
  • Driven

• Street artists need to get back to actually doing things on the streets instead of in the galleries where they all seem to be ending up. I hope this term 'street artist' falls from the face of the earth, in my honest opinion.

  

  Barry McGee
  • Up
  • Hope
  • Earth

• Someone once said that you can make the choice between getting old and getting creepy, and I think getting old is the way to go.

  

  Kate Beckinsale
  • Think
  • Choice
  • Old

• It vexes me when they would constrain science by the authority of the Scriptures, and yet do not consider themselves bound to answer reason and experiment.

  

  Galileo Galilei
  • Science
  • Reason
  • Authority

• The term 'pashmina' is often used interchangeably with 'cashmere,' but in reality, pashmina is a specific type of very fine, lofty cashmere, woven from a specific type of goat - one indigenous to northern India, Nepal, and Pakistan, and harvested and woven there as well.

  

  Hanya Yanagihara
  • Reality
  • India
  • Goat

• Fonteyn was our first proper British ballerina, and from the moment I started dancing, her image engulfed me. In my first year at the Royal Ballet School, Margot's statue was outside my dormitory. Like generations of budding ballet dancers before me, I used to touch her middle finger for luck.

  

  Darcey Bussell
  • School
  • Luck
  • Ballet

• There are no available men in their thirties in New York. Giuliani had them removed along with the homeless.

  

  Cynthia Nixon
  • Men
  • New York
  • Homeless

• I don't want clever conversation, I never want to work that hard, I just want someone I can talk to, I want you just the way you are.

  

  Billy Joel
  • Work
  • Want
  • Conversation

• The biggest challenge in making movies, boring but true answer is money - you never have enough, so everything gets bootstrapped to death! I learned not only how to be better filmmakers because of it but better janitors, better drivers and better negotiators with cops who wanted to shut me down. You have to get creative.

  

  Negin Farsad
  • Money
  • Movie
  • Creative

• Anything where I get to write a lot of jokes and have a lot of creative control - that's all I want.

  

  Mallory Ortberg
  • Want
  • Control
  • Creative