Mallory Ortberg Quotes

I have fun going on Twitter and the Internet. I feel safe and comfortable, and I wish everyone could feel that way.

Mallory Ortberg

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• Internet

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Quotes to Explore

• Is there any more encouraging sign than to see an Indian, who has never been to a university, like our friend Mr. Asutosh Dey here, for example, carrying out original work and finding it recognized by the foremost societies of the world?

  

  C. V. Raman
  • World
  • Work
  • Friend

• If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?

  

  Adam Carolla
  • She
  • Think
  • Funny

• For me, it's actually really hard to write about my real experience. Like to do a Taylor Swift. You know what I mean? It's so brave to actually write about things that happened and things you wanna get off your chest, but I'm not really there yet.

  

  Zara Larsson
  • Real
  • Experience
  • Know

• I read people; that's one of my strengths. It's not that I can't be fooled, but I'm not fooled often.

  

  Jack Keane
  • People
  • Strengths
  • Fooled

• I saw what the Depression was doing to my students. Often they could get no jobs, or jobs which were wholly inadequate. And through them, I began to understand how deeply political and economic events could affect men's lives. I began to feel the need to participate more fully in the life of the community.

  

  J. Robert Oppenheimer
  • Life
  • Men
  • Political

• And you know when I was growing up, I knew I wanted to have kids, but I knew I didn't want to do it alone. Then once I was 41, 42, I had to accept that I probably wouldn't have kids unless I decided to adopt later on, but even then it would be with a partner.

  

  Rachel Dratch
  • Up
  • Kids
  • Growing

• I was relatively technically adept. I can edit and wire up a light.

  

  Ian Hart
  • Up
  • Light
  • I Can

• The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

  

  Harlan Ellison
  • Universe
  • Two
  • Stupidity

• In fact - statistically, as you know - people have done polls, research, and at least 80 percent or more or working media are liberal Democrats if they are involved with any party and certainly liberal in their philosophy.

  

  Pat Boone
  • People
  • Done
  • Party

• I used to wear miniskirts with my GB top, and sparkly sandals, and the boys would be like: 'Oh my gosh, this girl cannot be serious.'

  

  Victoria Pendleton
  • Girl
  • Like
  • Serious

• There's always room to volunteer. I think that's a huge space to be involved with.

  

  Halima Aden
  • Think
  • Space
  • Volunteer

• I've always wanted to make movies that are fever dreams.

  

  Damien Chazelle
  • Always
  • Movies
  • Dreams

• I always thought 'Rome' would change things for me, that people would finally understand what I do.

  

  Danger Mouse
  • People
  • Change
  • Thought

• Having a place out of the city is a shortcut toward the mental reset I need.

  

  Rachel Maddow
  • City
  • Place
  • Mental

• I have had strange animals as pets all my life. I was shy growing up, and shy people tend to interact better with animals than people. Animals are direct, not duplicitous.

  

  Yvonne Craig
  • People
  • Life
  • Up

• Ask Mother for advice on breaking into show business.

  

  Jack Davenport
  • Business
  • Mother
  • Advice

• I'm very moody, so I dress for whatever mood I'm in. Sometimes I want to be a little more boyish and flowy and comfortable. Sometimes I want to feel a little sexier and more composed.

  

  Banks
  • Want
  • Sometimes
  • Mood

• I don't know whether I want to improve religion or not. I prefer to get rid of it.

  

  B. F. Skinner
  • Want
  • Know
  • Religion

• Widows tend either to fade away when husbands die, committing emotional suttee, or else find that a new life burgeons. Here in Christchurch, a lot of burgeoning goes on.

  

  Fay Weldon
  • Life
  • Die
  • Emotional

• My side, I am a liberal more than a Democrat.

  

  Alan Colmes

• I would say there is probably a little bit of me in each character. But Purrscilla is a lot like me because she is very into glam and glitz and jewelry and everything very girly. And some of the jewelry in the illustration is even my own jewelry. But I'm not a cat fan - that's the only thing! I'm a dog person.

  

  Lisa Frank
  • She
  • Character
  • Dog

• There was a time when I was willing to marry any cute boy that looked at me.

  

  Anna Faris
  • Time
  • Boy
  • Cute

• A life to hold, or to see slip through uncaring and inattentive hands, but always a life. And given one, we wish for two, or three, or more, so easily forgetting the one we had was spent unwisely

  

  Roger Jon Ellory
  • Life
  • Wish
  • Hands

• I have fun going on Twitter and the Internet. I feel safe and comfortable, and I wish everyone could feel that way.

  

  Mallory Ortberg
  • Fun
  • Wish
  • Internet