Mallory Ortberg Quotes
I have fun going on Twitter and the Internet. I feel safe and comfortable, and I wish everyone could feel that way.

Quotes to Explore
-
Is there any more encouraging sign than to see an Indian, who has never been to a university, like our friend Mr. Asutosh Dey here, for example, carrying out original work and finding it recognized by the foremost societies of the world?
-
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
-
For me, it's actually really hard to write about my real experience. Like to do a Taylor Swift. You know what I mean? It's so brave to actually write about things that happened and things you wanna get off your chest, but I'm not really there yet.
-
I read people; that's one of my strengths. It's not that I can't be fooled, but I'm not fooled often.
-
I saw what the Depression was doing to my students. Often they could get no jobs, or jobs which were wholly inadequate. And through them, I began to understand how deeply political and economic events could affect men's lives. I began to feel the need to participate more fully in the life of the community.
-
And you know when I was growing up, I knew I wanted to have kids, but I knew I didn't want to do it alone. Then once I was 41, 42, I had to accept that I probably wouldn't have kids unless I decided to adopt later on, but even then it would be with a partner.
-
I was relatively technically adept. I can edit and wire up a light.
-
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.
-
In fact - statistically, as you know - people have done polls, research, and at least 80 percent or more or working media are liberal Democrats if they are involved with any party and certainly liberal in their philosophy.
-
I used to wear miniskirts with my GB top, and sparkly sandals, and the boys would be like: 'Oh my gosh, this girl cannot be serious.'
-
There's always room to volunteer. I think that's a huge space to be involved with.
-
I've always wanted to make movies that are fever dreams.
-
I always thought 'Rome' would change things for me, that people would finally understand what I do.
-
Having a place out of the city is a shortcut toward the mental reset I need.
-
I have had strange animals as pets all my life. I was shy growing up, and shy people tend to interact better with animals than people. Animals are direct, not duplicitous.
-
Ask Mother for advice on breaking into show business.
-
I'm very moody, so I dress for whatever mood I'm in. Sometimes I want to be a little more boyish and flowy and comfortable. Sometimes I want to feel a little sexier and more composed.
-
I don't know whether I want to improve religion or not. I prefer to get rid of it.
-
Mysteries are not necessarily miracles.
-
Blow the candle out, I don't need to see what my thoughts look like.
-
Lots of business owners spend their lives trying to land the whale - the single, massive, brand-name account that will fatten the top line and bestow instant credibility. But big customers make me nervous.
-
Preachers must always fight the temptation to preach anything but Christ and Him crucified.
-
I have fun going on Twitter and the Internet. I feel safe and comfortable, and I wish everyone could feel that way.