Penn Jillette Quotes

A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'

Penn Jillette

• Funny
• Failure

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• I don't think Joe Louis could take the punches today fighting in this era.

  

  Larry Holmes
  • Think
  • Today
  • Fighting

• I do not deal with threats and ultimatums.

  

  Yair Lapid
  • Deal
  • Threats
  • Ultimatums

• When I was doing all this acting stuff, all these kids, like, assumed, 'Oh, my God, you're on TV, and you probably have a lot of money.' And I was living in a garage.

  

  Becky G
  • God
  • Money
  • Kids

• For me to go casual is not to go simple. To me, it is to be able to bring back the art of tradition and the soul of French food and my interpretation of that.

  

  Daniel Boulud
  • Art
  • Soul
  • Food

• I mean there are many people who have endorsed me that I agree with on some things and not others.

  

  Carly Fiorina
  • People
  • Mean
  • Things

• The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.

  

  Carl Jung
  • Life
  • Suits
  • Shoe

• If you're a writer, write. You just keep writing. And if you're a filmmaker, you keep doing what you can to keep telling your stories; you don't stay on the one. Keep moving forward and doing what you can to tell whatever story you can tell, be it via writing, be it via filming it.

  

  Dana Brunetti
  • Writing
  • Moving
  • Moving Forward

• That's one of the things I miss most about Australia - the countryside.

  

  Yvonne Strahovski
  • Most
  • Australia
  • Countryside

• He that climbs the tall tree has won right to the fruit, He that leaps the wide gulf should prevail in his suit.

  

  Walter Scott
  • Tree
  • Fruit
  • Tall

• My secret to all casting, and specifically kids, is cast good human beings.

  

  M. Night Shyamalan
  • Good
  • Kids
  • Human

• I know the power obedience has of making things easy which seem impossible.

  

  Saint Teresa of Avila
  • Power
  • Easy
  • Impossible

• I like a twisted sense of humour. On 'A History of Violence,' David Cronenberg and I would be doing the grimmest scenes and laugh a lot.

  

  Viggo Mortensen
  • History
  • Violence
  • Laugh

• I'm reading today because of 'Encyclopedia Brown.'

  

  Octavia Spencer
  • Today
  • Reading
  • Brown

• What people can survive and what they don't survive is shocking to me. Someone can go to Iraq and be blown to bits and survive. Someone can trip and fall on the street and they die – that's that.

  

  Laura Linney
  • People
  • Me
  • Die

• Each great athlete must some day bow to that perennial old champion, Father Time, even as I, for Time eventually wins.

  

  Major Taylor
  • Time
  • Great
  • Father

• Women are capable of doing so many things these days, physically, emotionally, within relationships and career. There are so many things that women have evolved into and I feel really proud about where women are right now.

  

  Cameron Diaz
  • Women
  • Career
  • Proud

• I grew up in Pittsburgh, and regularly, my parents would take us to the Holiday House Supper Club to see acts like Nancy Wilson, Sarah Vaughn, Ben Vereen, Freda Payne, Stephanie Mills, and The Temptations, to name a few.

  

  Tamara Tunie
  • Up
  • House
  • Parents

• The thought that all experience will be lost at the moment of my death makes me feel pain and fear... What a waste, decades spent building up experience, only to throw it all away... We remedy this sadness by working. For example, by writing, painting, or building cities.

  

  Umberto Eco
  • Up
  • Writing
  • Experience

• Why do some die and some live? The answer was clearly, that on the whole the best fitted live. From the effects of disease the most healthy escaped; from enemies, the strongest, swiftest, or the most cunning; from famine, the best hunters or those with the best digestion; and so on. Then it suddenly flashed upon me that this self-acting process would necessarily improve the race, because in every generation the inferior would inevitably be killed off and the superior would remain-that is, the fittest would survive.

  

  Alfred Russel Wallace
  • Live
  • Why
  • Die

• One of the most important rules of personal effectiveness is the 10/90 rule.

  

  Brian Tracy
  • Important
  • Management
  • Time Management

• No one ever thought Clint Eastwood was funny, but he was.

  

  Annie Leibovitz
  • Funny

• In Iraq we must succeed. Failure is not an option.

  

  Zbigniew Brzezinski
  • Failure
  • Succeed
  • Option

• Funny is funny.

  

  Don Rickles
  • Funny

• A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'

  

  Penn Jillette
  • Funny
  • Failure