Penn Jillette Quotes

A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'

Penn Jillette

• Funny
• Failure

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Quotes to Explore

• I don't think Joe Louis could take the punches today fighting in this era.

  

  Larry Holmes
  • Think
  • Today
  • Fighting

• I do not deal with threats and ultimatums.

  

  Yair Lapid
  • Deal
  • Threats
  • Ultimatums

• When I was doing all this acting stuff, all these kids, like, assumed, 'Oh, my God, you're on TV, and you probably have a lot of money.' And I was living in a garage.

  

  Becky G
  • God
  • Money
  • Kids

• For me to go casual is not to go simple. To me, it is to be able to bring back the art of tradition and the soul of French food and my interpretation of that.

  

  Daniel Boulud
  • Art
  • Soul
  • Food

• I mean there are many people who have endorsed me that I agree with on some things and not others.

  

  Carly Fiorina
  • People
  • Mean
  • Things

• The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.

  

  Carl Jung
  • Life
  • Suits
  • Shoe

• If you're a writer, write. You just keep writing. And if you're a filmmaker, you keep doing what you can to keep telling your stories; you don't stay on the one. Keep moving forward and doing what you can to tell whatever story you can tell, be it via writing, be it via filming it.

  

  Dana Brunetti
  • Writing
  • Moving
  • Moving Forward

• That's one of the things I miss most about Australia - the countryside.

  

  Yvonne Strahovski
  • Most
  • Australia
  • Countryside

• He that climbs the tall tree has won right to the fruit, He that leaps the wide gulf should prevail in his suit.

  

  Walter Scott
  • Tree
  • Fruit
  • Tall

• My secret to all casting, and specifically kids, is cast good human beings.

  

  M. Night Shyamalan
  • Good
  • Kids
  • Human

• I know the power obedience has of making things easy which seem impossible.

  

  Saint Teresa of Avila
  • Power
  • Easy
  • Impossible

• I like a twisted sense of humour. On 'A History of Violence,' David Cronenberg and I would be doing the grimmest scenes and laugh a lot.

  

  Viggo Mortensen
  • History
  • Violence
  • Laugh

• It's funny to think that when you get done with an acting job, you're considered unemployed. There are definitely times when those checks don't last forever. I went to college at a private school, and I racked up quite a bit of debt. I was very slow to pay them back.

  

  Rami Malek
  • Up
  • School
  • Done

• When I was a kid just starting out on the radio, I would always watch people. And I'd see the interest they'd have in trying to get a photo with an artist or get a ticket stub signed. I guess, to me, that's the ultimate thing – to know that what you've done is important enough to other people that they want to take a picture with you.

  

  Eddie Trunk
  • People
  • Important
  • Artist

• I'm reading today because of 'Encyclopedia Brown.'

  

  Octavia Spencer
  • Today
  • Reading
  • Brown

• What people can survive and what they don't survive is shocking to me. Someone can go to Iraq and be blown to bits and survive. Someone can trip and fall on the street and they die – that's that.

  

  Laura Linney
  • People
  • Me
  • Die

• Each great athlete must some day bow to that perennial old champion, Father Time, even as I, for Time eventually wins.

  

  Major Taylor
  • Time
  • Great
  • Father

• Women are capable of doing so many things these days, physically, emotionally, within relationships and career. There are so many things that women have evolved into and I feel really proud about where women are right now.

  

  Cameron Diaz
  • Women
  • Career
  • Proud

• I'm a Republican, but I find Nancy Pelosi very attractive.

  

  Christopher Buckley

• I spent my whole childhood watching open-wheel racing. I spent years going to England and racing open wheel, coming back and racing open wheel. It's been my world for 20 years and beyond that. For almost my whole life, I've been watching it. I watch it and I think I know how to do it.

  

  Danica Patrick
  • Life
  • World
  • Childhood

• God comes first - if I don't love him, I can't love anybody, and if I can't love me I can't love nobody.

  

  Mary J. Blige
  • God

• Climate change - for so long an abstract concern for an academic few - is no longer so abstract. Even the Bush administration's Climate Change Science Programme reports 'clear evidence of human influences on the climate system.'

  

  Zac Goldsmith
  • Long
  • Science
  • Change

• For families across the UK who are income-poor, but more than that, whose lives are blighted by worklessness, educational failure, family breakdown, problem debt and poor health, as well as other problems, giving them an extra pound - say through increased benefits - will not address the reason they find themselves in difficulty in the first place.

  

  Iain Duncan Smith
  • Family
  • Giving
  • Health

• A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'

  

  Penn Jillette
  • Funny
  • Failure