H. L. Mencken Quotes
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The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
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So few men are really worth knowing, that it seems a shameful waste to let an anthropoid prejudice stand in the way of free association with one who is.
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The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
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The curse of man, and the cause of nearly all his woe, is his stupendous capacity for believing the incredible.
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Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
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A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.
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It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
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The most valuable of all human possessions, next to a superior and disdainful air, is the reputation of being well-to-do.
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Temptation is an irresistible force at work on a movable body.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
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Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse.
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In every woman's life there is one real and consuming love. But very few women guess which one it is.
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A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and the truth in front of patriotic passion.
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There is, it appears, a conspiracy of scientists afoot. Their purpose is to break down religion, propagate immorality, and so reduce mankind to the level of brutes. They are the sworn and sinister agents of Beelzebub, who yearns to conquer the world, and has his eye especially upon Tennessee.]
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The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore.
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Each party steals so many articles of faith from the other, and the candidates spend so much time making each other's speeches, that by the time election day is past there is nothing much to do save turn the sitting rascals out and let a new gang in.
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A skeptic as to all ideas, including especially my own, I have never suffered a pang when the ideas of some other imbecile prevailed.
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I believe in the complete freedom of thought and speech - alike for the humblest man and the mightiest, and in the utmost freedom of conduct that is consistent with living in organized
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The objection to Puritans is not that they try to make us think as they do, but that they try to make us do as they think.
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Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
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It is a fact that no man improves much after the age of 60 and after 65, most suffer a really alarming decline. I could give some examples, but at the advice of my publisher will refrain from doing so.
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What makes philosophy so tedious is not the profundity of philosophers, but their lack of art; they are like physicians who soughtto cure a slight hyperacidity by prescribing a carload of burned oyster-shells.
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All government, of course, is against liberty.
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Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.