H. L. Mencken Quotes
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The curse of man, and the cause of nearly all his woe, is his stupendous capacity for believing the incredible.
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So few men are really worth knowing, that it seems a shameful waste to let an anthropoid prejudice stand in the way of free association with one who is.
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Judge: a law student who marks his own examination-papers.
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When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands.
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Temptation is an irresistible force at work on a movable body.
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The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore.
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It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.
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Nothing is so abject and pathetic as a politician who has lost his job, save only a retired stud-horse.
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The lunatic fringe wags the underdog.
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The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
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A skeptic as to all ideas, including especially my own, I have never suffered a pang when the ideas of some other imbecile prevailed.
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The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
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A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.
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In every woman's life there is one real and consuming love. But very few women guess which one it is.
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Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
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Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and free than Christianity has made them good.
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Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
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The objection to Puritans is not that they try to make us think as they do, but that they try to make us do as they think.
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There is, it appears, a conspiracy of scientists afoot. Their purpose is to break down religion, propagate immorality, and so reduce mankind to the level of brutes. They are the sworn and sinister agents of Beelzebub, who yearns to conquer the world, and has his eye especially upon Tennessee.]
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A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and the truth in front of patriotic passion.
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I believe in the complete freedom of thought and speech - alike for the humblest man and the mightiest, and in the utmost freedom of conduct that is consistent with living in organized
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The seasick passenger on an ocean liner detests the good sailor who stalks past him 265 times a day grandly smoking a large, greasy cigar. In precisely the same way the democrat hates the man who is having a better time in the world. This is the origin of democracy. It is also the origin of Puritanism.
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Poverty is a soft pedal upon the branches of human activity, not excepting the spiritual.