Jasper Fforde Quotes
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Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.
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Love isn't sensible, Red. I think that's the point.
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The Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor.
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The safest course was actually the simplest-do nothing at all and hope everything turned out for the best. It wasn't a great plan, but it had the benefits of simplicity and a long tradition.
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The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable.
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I just write books, and I do it without any notion of what I should do or shouldn't do.
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I have the death sentence in seven genres.
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Do I have to talk to insane people?" "You're a librarian now. I'm afraid it's mandatory.
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Prejudice is a product of ignorance that hides behind barriers of tradition.
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The industrial age had only just begun; the planet had reached its Best Before date.
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He set fire to some potatoes, then cooked some undelivered post in the embers." - Dad "Did he now? What a strange fellow. I would have done it the other way around." - Stafford
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Failure concentrates the mind wonderfully. If you don't make mistakes, you're not trying hard enough.
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The landscape inside Lord of the Rings was so stunning and so stupendous that it could be absorbed as a form of nourishment.
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Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand; pen mighter than the sword and so forth.
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Almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon.
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For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.
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Humans like stories. Humans need stories. Stories are good. Stories work. Story clarifies and captures the essence of the human spirit. Story, in all its forms—of life, of love, of knowledge—has traced the upward surge of mankind. And story, you mark my words, will be with the last human to draw breath.
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Every book should have a romance.
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Because there's someone else here in East Carmin. Someone hopelessly unsuitable. It's all a really bad idea and will lead to trouble of the worst sort. But no matter what, every minute in her presence makes my life a minute more complete.
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…Tell me, has anything odd happened to you recently? What do you mean, odd?' Unusual. Deviating from the customary. Something outside the usual parameters of normalcy. An occurrence of unprecedented weird.
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You many have noticed I have a temper ... but when I calmed down, I realized that this world, blighted and imperfect as it is, would be better with you in it.
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I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.
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Everything comes to an end. A good bottle of wine, a summer’s day, a long-running sitcom, one’s life, and eventually our species. The question for many of us is not that everything will come to an end but when. And can we do anything vaguely useful until it does?
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The barriers between reality and fiction are softer than we think; a bit like a frozen lake. Hundreds of people can walk across it, but then one evening a thin spot develops and someone falls through; the hole is frozen over by the following morning.