Jasper Fforde Quotes
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The best plans are always the simplest.
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He spent his life immersed in books to the cost of everything else, even personal relationships. "Friends," he'd once said, "are probably great, but I have forty thousands friends of my own already, and each of them needs my attention.
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Maybe those sorts of yes-or-no life-and-death decisions are easier to make because they are so black and white. I can cope with them because it's easier. Human emotions, well. . .they're just a fathomless collection of grays and I don't do so well on the midtones.
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Take no heed of her.... She reads a lot of books.
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For a taste that's a bit more distinct, eat a bird before it's extinct.
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I loved him, officer. More than any woman ever loved an egg.
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You speak baby gibberish?' asked Jack. 'Fluently. The adult-education center ran a course, and I have a lot of time on my hands.' 'So what did he say?' 'I don't know.' 'I thought you said you spoke gibberish?' 'I do. But your baby doesn't. I think he's speaking either pre-toddler nonsense, a form of infact burble or an obscure dialect of gobbledygook. In any event, I can't understand a word he's saying.' 'Oh.
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There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says...it's payback time!
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A good butler should save his employer's life at least once a day.
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The fun one can have writing books about books is limitless, to be honest.
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A surfeit of information often hides an untruth,” he said, with annoying clarity.
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Individual words, sounds, squiggles on paper with no meanings other than those with which our imagination can clothe them.
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Were you listening to a word I said ' 'I kind of switched off when you drew breath.
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The cleanest souls are the easiest to soil.
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Fiction wouldn't be much fun without its fair share of scoundrels, and they have to live somewhere.
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Mr. Pewter led them through to a library, filled with thousands of antiquarian books. 'Impressive, eh?' 'Very,' said Jack. 'How did you amass all these?' 'Well,' said Pewter, 'You know the person who always borrows books and never gives them back?' 'Yes...?' 'I'm that person.
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DCI Horner's advice to Jack Spratt: "Remember, m'boy," his old boss had said, eyes twinkling, "that if anyone tries to get the better of you, stand up straight and say to yourself in an imperious air, 'I am the new Mrs. de Winter now!' You'll find it works wonders.
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Apart from the faint odor of ink that pervaded the scene, it might have been real.
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Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.
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Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.
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We were developing a machine that used egg white, heat and sugar to synthesize methanol when a power surge caused an implosion. Owens was meringued. By the time we chipped him out the poor chap had expired.
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Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous.
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Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations.
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There is a contract between the reader and the writer. The readers give me their hard-earned cash, and I have to entertain them.