Jasper Fforde Quotes
-
Reality TV was to me the worst form of entertainment--the modern equivalent of paying sixpence to watch lunatics howling at the wall down at the local madhouse.
-
I loved him, officer. More than any woman ever loved an egg.
-
Love is a wonderful thing, my dear, but it leaves you wide open for blackmail.
-
Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.
-
I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acceptable form of narcissus.
-
Books may look like nothing more than words on a page, but they are actually an infinitely complex imaginotransference technology that translates odd, inky squiggles into pictures inside your head.
-
For a taste that's a bit more distinct, eat a bird before it's extinct.
-
It took me ten years and seven books to bag an agent - it took me that long to start writing good.
-
Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.
-
Individual words, sounds, squiggles on paper with no meanings other than those with which our imagination can clothe them.
-
Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then — and this is the important bit — do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies.
-
For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.
-
Take no heed of her.... She reads a lot of books.
-
If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher.
-
DCI Horner's advice to Jack Spratt: "Remember, m'boy," his old boss had said, eyes twinkling, "that if anyone tries to get the better of you, stand up straight and say to yourself in an imperious air, 'I am the new Mrs. de Winter now!' You'll find it works wonders.
-
After all, reading is arguably a far more creative and imaginative process than writing; when the reader creates emotion in their head, or the colors of the sky during the setting sun, or the smell of a warm summer's breeze on their face, they should reserve as much praise for themselves as they do for the writer - perhaps more.
-
Writing is not something you can do or you can't. It's not even something that 'other people do' or 'for smart people only' or even 'for people who finished school and went to University'. Nonsense. Anyone can do it. But no-one can do it straight off the bat. Like plastering, brain surgery or assembling truck engines, you have to do a bit of training - get your hands dirty - and make some mistakes.
-
Do you really think you'd win a PR war against a bunch of committed librarians?' He thought about this, but he knew I was right. The libraries were a treasured institution and so central to everyday life that government and commerce rarely did anything that might upset them.Some say they were more powerful than the military, or, if not, they were certainly quieter. As they say: Don't mess with librarians. Only they use a stronger word than 'mess'.
-
Books" - Snell smiled - "are a kind of magic.
-
If you expect me to believe that a lawyer wrote A Midsummer Night's Dream, I must be dafter than I look.
-
Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.
-
Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.
-
Librarying is a harder profession than the public realizes, he said. People think it's all rubber stamps, knowing that Dewey 521 is celestial mechanics and saying 'Try looking under fiction' sixty eight times a day.
-
Maybe those sorts of yes-or-no life-and-death decisions are easier to make because they are so black and white. I can cope with them because it's easier. Human emotions, well. . .they're just a fathomless collection of grays and I don't do so well on the midtones.