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Journeys up the Metaphoric River are hugely enjoyable and highly recommended. Since every genre is nourished by its heady waters, a paddle steamer can take even the most walk-shy tourists to their chosen destination. As a bonus, there is traditionally at least one murder on board each trip--a "consideration" to the head steward will ensure that it is not you.
Jasper Fforde -
Take no heed of her.... She reads a lot of books.
Jasper Fforde
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What is there to forgive?. . .Ignore forgive and concentrate on living. Life for you is short; far too short to allow small jealousies to infringe on the happiness which can be yours only for the briefest of times.
Jasper Fforde -
Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous.
Jasper Fforde -
Books may look like nothing more than words on a page, but they are actually an infinitely complex imaginotransference technology that translates odd, inky squiggles into pictures inside your head.
Jasper Fforde -
Everything comes to an end. A good bottle of wine, a summer’s day, a long-running sitcom, one’s life, and eventually our species. The question for many of us is not that everything will come to an end but when. And can we do anything vaguely useful until it does?
Jasper Fforde -
A surfeit of information often hides an untruth,” he said, with annoying clarity.
Jasper Fforde -
Sometimes, a word succeeds beyond the wildest dreams of its creators, like a virus sent into the world to infect common speech.
Jasper Fforde
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You speak baby gibberish?' asked Jack. 'Fluently. The adult-education center ran a course, and I have a lot of time on my hands.' 'So what did he say?' 'I don't know.' 'I thought you said you spoke gibberish?' 'I do. But your baby doesn't. I think he's speaking either pre-toddler nonsense, a form of infact burble or an obscure dialect of gobbledygook. In any event, I can't understand a word he's saying.' 'Oh.
Jasper Fforde -
After all, reading is arguably a far more creative and imaginative process than writing; when the reader creates emotion in their head, or the colors of the sky during the setting sun, or the smell of a warm summer's breeze on their face, they should reserve as much praise for themselves as they do for the writer - perhaps more.
Jasper Fforde -
Sorry," [Hamlet] said, rubbing his temples. "I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had this overwhelming desire to talk for a very long time without actually doing anything.
Jasper Fforde -
We were developing a machine that used egg white, heat and sugar to synthesize methanol when a power surge caused an implosion. Owens was meringued. By the time we chipped him out the poor chap had expired.
Jasper Fforde -
Maybe those sorts of yes-or-no life-and-death decisions are easier to make because they are so black and white. I can cope with them because it's easier. Human emotions, well. . .they're just a fathomless collection of grays and I don't do so well on the midtones.
Jasper Fforde -
The fun one can have writing books about books is limitless, to be honest.
Jasper Fforde
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How fishy on the fishiness scale? Ten is a stickleback and one is a whale shark." "A whale isn't a fish, Thursday." "A whale shark is--sort of." "All right, it's as fishy as a crayfish." "A crayfish isn't a fish." "A starfish, then." "Still not a fish." "This is a very odd conversation, Thursday.
Jasper Fforde -
DCI Horner's advice to Jack Spratt: "Remember, m'boy," his old boss had said, eyes twinkling, "that if anyone tries to get the better of you, stand up straight and say to yourself in an imperious air, 'I am the new Mrs. de Winter now!' You'll find it works wonders.
Jasper Fforde -
Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable.
Jasper Fforde -
Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.
Jasper Fforde -
There is a certain degree of 'steampunkishness' that creeps into my books.
Jasper Fforde -
Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.
Jasper Fforde
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I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acceptable form of narcissus.
Jasper Fforde -
There is a contract between the reader and the writer. The readers give me their hard-earned cash, and I have to entertain them.
Jasper Fforde -
A good butler should save his employer's life at least once a day.
Jasper Fforde -
Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.
Jasper Fforde