Jasper Fforde Quotes
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Fiction wouldn't be much fun without its fair share of scoundrels, and they have to live somewhere.
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There is a contract between the reader and the writer. The readers give me their hard-earned cash, and I have to entertain them.
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I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acceptable form of narcissus.
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There is a certain degree of 'steampunkishness' that creeps into my books.
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Reality TV was to me the worst form of entertainment--the modern equivalent of paying sixpence to watch lunatics howling at the wall down at the local madhouse.
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I also read about Heathcliff's unexpected three-year career in Hollywood under the name Buck Stallion and his eventual return to the pages of Wuthering Heights.
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Sorry," [Hamlet] said, rubbing his temples. "I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had this overwhelming desire to talk for a very long time without actually doing anything.
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The universe always moves from an ordered state to a disordered one; that a glass may fall to the ground and shatter yet you never see a broken glass reassemble itself and then jump back on the table.
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Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world.
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We were developing a machine that used egg white, heat and sugar to synthesize methanol when a power surge caused an implosion. Owens was meringued. By the time we chipped him out the poor chap had expired.
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Sometimes, a word succeeds beyond the wildest dreams of its creators, like a virus sent into the world to infect common speech.
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The fun one can have writing books about books is limitless, to be honest.
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Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations.
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A good butler should save his employer's life at least once a day.
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What is there to forgive?. . .Ignore forgive and concentrate on living. Life for you is short; far too short to allow small jealousies to infringe on the happiness which can be yours only for the briefest of times.
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Growth purely for its own sake is the philosophy of cancer.
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That's the thing about destiny: It can't be predicted, and it's usually pretty odd.
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Books" - Snell smiled - "are a kind of magic.
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You nearly killed eight people!" I managed to gasp out loud. "My count was closer to twelve," returned Havisham as she opened the door. "And anyhow, you can't nearly kill someone. Either they are dead or they are not.
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Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous.
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I still feel threatened by academics, but my books have a lot of academic in-jokes and everybody assumes I went to university and studied English.
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I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!
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Librarying is a harder profession than the public realizes, he said. People think it's all rubber stamps, knowing that Dewey 521 is celestial mechanics and saying 'Try looking under fiction' sixty eight times a day.
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Love and magic are like oil and water – they just don't mix.