Jasper Fforde Quotes
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The cleanest souls are the easiest to soil.
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The universe always moves from an ordered state to a disordered one; that a glass may fall to the ground and shatter yet you never see a broken glass reassemble itself and then jump back on the table.
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Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous.
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I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acceptable form of narcissus.
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History has rewritten itself so many times I'm not really sure how it was to begin with -- it's a bit like trying to guess the original color of a wall when it's been repainted eight times.
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Sorry," [Hamlet] said, rubbing his temples. "I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had this overwhelming desire to talk for a very long time without actually doing anything.
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Books" - Snell smiled - "are a kind of magic.
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There is a certain degree of 'steampunkishness' that creeps into my books.
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Journeys up the Metaphoric River are hugely enjoyable and highly recommended. Since every genre is nourished by its heady waters, a paddle steamer can take even the most walk-shy tourists to their chosen destination. As a bonus, there is traditionally at least one murder on board each trip--a "consideration" to the head steward will ensure that it is not you.
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That's the thing about destiny: It can't be predicted, and it's usually pretty odd.
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Sometimes, a word succeeds beyond the wildest dreams of its creators, like a virus sent into the world to infect common speech.
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I still feel threatened by academics, but my books have a lot of academic in-jokes and everybody assumes I went to university and studied English.
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Growth purely for its own sake is the philosophy of cancer.
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Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then — and this is the important bit — do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies.
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Humpty had always sat on walls, it was his way.
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I could almost see common sense and denial fighting away at each other within her. In the end, denial won, as it so often does.
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We all make mistakes at some time in our lives, some more than others. It is only when the cost is counted in human lives that people really take notice.
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Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world.
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If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher.
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Librarying is a harder profession than the public realizes, he said. People think it's all rubber stamps, knowing that Dewey 521 is celestial mechanics and saying 'Try looking under fiction' sixty eight times a day.
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I was on HPD--Heathcliff Protection Duty--in Wuthering Heights for two years, and believe me, the ProCaths tried everything. I personally saved him from assassination eight times.
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Governments and fashions come and go but Jane Eyre is for all time.
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You nearly killed eight people!" I managed to gasp out loud. "My count was closer to twelve," returned Havisham as she opened the door. "And anyhow, you can't nearly kill someone. Either they are dead or they are not.
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I've never been averse to a little risk - after all, writing without risk is not really writing at all. Sometimes one has to just let fly with a high concept piece and see where the pieces fall. As it generally turns out, the central story is familiar, but just with different rules of engagement.