Jasper Fforde Quotes
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If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction-and ultimately, without a major resolution.
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Every book should have a romance.
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I collect ex-boyfriends -- and more than five, at last count.
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I suggest we depict penguins as callous and unfeeling creatures who insist on bringing up their children in what is little more than a large chest freezer.
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Writing is a subtle art that is reached mostly by self-discovery and experimentation.
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For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.
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Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable.
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The name is Schitt," he replied. "Jack Schitt.
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I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.
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Have you ever wondered how nostalgia isn"t what it used to be?
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The barriers between reality and fiction are softer than we think; a bit like a frozen lake. Hundreds of people can walk across it, but then one evening a thin spot develops and someone falls through; the hole is frozen over by the following morning.
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The best plans are always the simplest.
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Social mores change with time, like fashion - who knows where it might all end up? I especially like the idea that waste, impoliteness and overpopulation become "abominations," although I'm not sure recycling one's aunt will ever truly catch on.
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It took me ten years and seven books to bag an agent - it took me that long to start writing good.
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This is our siblings of more famous BookWorld Personalities self-help group expalined Loser (Gatsby). That's Sharon Eyre, the younger and wholly disreputable sister of Jane; Roger Yossarian, the draft dodger and coward; Rupert Bond, still a virgin and can't keep a secret; Tracy Capulet, who has slept her way round Verona twice; and Nancy Potter, who is a Muggle.
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There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says...it's payback time!
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For a taste that's a bit more distinct, eat a bird before it's extinct.
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DCI Horner's advice to Jack Spratt: "Remember, m'boy," his old boss had said, eyes twinkling, "that if anyone tries to get the better of you, stand up straight and say to yourself in an imperious air, 'I am the new Mrs. de Winter now!' You'll find it works wonders.
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Two minds with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.
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Dead. Never been that before. Not even once.
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I loved him, officer. More than any woman ever loved an egg.
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If you expect me to believe that a lawyer wrote A Midsummer Night's Dream, I must be dafter than I look.
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Books may look like nothing more than words on a page, but they are actually an infinitely complex imaginotransference technology that translates odd, inky squiggles into pictures inside your head.
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He spent his life immersed in books to the cost of everything else, even personal relationships. "Friends," he'd once said, "are probably great, but I have forty thousands friends of my own already, and each of them needs my attention.