Jay Leno Quotes

United States, Comedian
April 28, 1950

James Douglas Muir "Jay" Leno (/ˈlɛnoʊ/; born April 28, 1950) is an American comedian, actor, writer, producer, and television host. After doing stand-up comedy for years, he became the host of NBC's The Tonight Show with Jay Leno from 1992-2009. Beginning in September 2009, Leno started a primetime talk show, titled The Jay Leno Show, which aired weeknights at 10:00pm ET, also on NBC.

Also known as Actor, Writer, Producer

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

Jay Leno
- Men
- Today
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Jay Leno
- Men
- Religious
- Wise

'This is now the twelfth day of rioting in France. They have been rioting for almost two weeks. And France has still not surrendered. That's like a record.

Jay Leno
So China's president Hu Jintao meets, uh- meets America's president. It's like President 'Who?' meeting President 'Huh?'.

Jay Leno
- America
I didn't realize it was October until I saw the Chicago Cubs choking.

Jay Leno
- Chicago
- October
CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

Jay Leno
- Men
- Women
- She
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

Jay Leno
If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.

Jay Leno
- God
- Apology

Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said that's why they never hit any home runs. It's a safety issue.

Jay Leno
- Why
- Home
- Stop
Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.

Jay Leno
- House
For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!

Jay Leno
- People
- Time
- America
You're not famous until my mother has heard of you.

Jay Leno
- Mother
- Famous