Jeff Dunham Quotes
A lot of my best stuff is just ad libs on stage, and that's one thing that I've gotten back to at the live show.

Quotes to Explore
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I'm not an A student; I'm not even a B student, but I've gotten a lot better with the reading because of texts. And I can voice-text and say whatever I want to people.
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I usually get all my stress and anger out at the gym. But when I get out, I'm kind of a pleasant person - really.
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Relationships, it seems to me, are timeless. What works between two people always works; what doesn't is always troublesome. Over time, people learn - or not - how to negotiate what's difficult, but that doesn't mean the misfit has gone away entirely.
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The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone.
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I'm a journalist and author. I make my living by finding things out and writing about them.
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One of the things I did when I was in New York, which has a wonderful deaf community, is I have worked on making Broadway more accessible to deaf people.
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When I was in high school, I was really into string theory and superstring theory and read 'Scientific American.' It's fascinating.
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It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know they won't save us any more than love did.
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I certainly didn't reach out to my old assets and ask 'em how they're doing, although I would have liked to.
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In our Western culture, although death has come out of the closet, it is still not openly experienced or discussed. Allowing dying to be so intensely present enriches both the preciousness of each moment and our detachment from it.
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Everyone should learn to tango in Argentina before they die.
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Whilst we deliberate how to begin a thing, it grows too late to begin it.
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I want to be frozen on the hope that they'll find whatever I died of and bring me back.
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I lost 80 percent of my wealth and then gave away over half of the rest. So I'm a man of modest means now. But if you budget carefully and watch your expenditures, you can get by on a couple billion dollars.
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Our deals and performance speak for themselves. And whoever doesn't feel comfortable investing with us will not.
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If you look at a lot of the songs I've been involved in, there's always been this retro vibe. I started getting worried that I wasn't moving forward very much, nor was I even in tune with the music today. I almost scoffed at it.
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The blockchain does one thing: It replaces third-party trust with mathematical proof that something happened.
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Just after graduation in 1966, like many of my contemporaries, I applied for research training at the National Institutes of Health. Perhaps because his wife was a poet, Ira Pastan agreed to take me into his laboratory, despite my lack of scientific credentials.
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But it's fun to be something, have that, and you don't have to be real. It's like, comedians. They go on and they're doing all these jokes. I would be like that if I were more awake.
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My albums really are like scrapbooks to me.
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I danced so intensely, I learned the hard way that sometimes you can push your body too far.
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A great writer named Neal Stephenson said that America does four things better than any other country in the world: rock music, movies, software and high-speed pizza delivery. All of these are sacred American art forms. Let's return to our purity and our idealism while we have this shot.
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I hate this idea that I've somehow become detached. It's like I can't win. I'd been hearing all these years that I was too hands-on: that I was the guy writing out the lineup card. Now, I'm not present enough. How is it possible to be a detached micromanager?
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A lot of my best stuff is just ad libs on stage, and that's one thing that I've gotten back to at the live show.