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You want to know why Barbra Streisand is so difficult? Because she's brilliant. She's a brilliant entertainer, she's a brilliant lady, and she's a wonderful human being, and the community doesn't like it.
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When I'm working, I stay in ICU in any hospital that will get me a bed.
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People think I'm against critics because they are negative to my work. That's not what bothers me. What bothers me is they didn't see the work. I have seen critics print stuff about stuff I cut out of the film before we ran it. So don't tell me about critics.
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I like to watch all those shows that shouldn't be on the air - reality shows.
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Postwar America was a very buttoned-up nation. Radio shows were run by censors, Presidents wore hats, ladies wore girdles. We came straight out of the blue - nobody was expecting anything like Martin and Lewis. A sexy guy and a monkey is how some people saw us.
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I need the applause.
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You see, the people that have a point of view and have an opinion and have some intellect are dangerous in the film community - they're dangerous.
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I will not say anything negative about the president of the United States. I don't do that. And I don't allow my children to do that.
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When you get a question like, 'Did you like meeting Her Majesty?' 'No, I thought she was a slob.' I mean, what are you going to say... The mischief comes into me when I'm doing a Q&A, I'm 9 years old again. I don't get mad. I do get offended.
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If I found the cure for dystrophy tomorrow, I would do a telethon in four weeks for acute pain that in this country is a bigger problem than cancer, heart, sickle cell, anemia, name it. It is - it's hitting 70 million Americans.
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If I was performing, I had no pain. But you can't stay on stage 24 hours a day.
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You can ask me anything you want. That doesn't mean I'm going to answer you.
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My God, the stage is the only place I know where to go.
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I'm shocked to be saying this, but as a child, I never went to a circus. It cost too much.
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Nothing can stop anyone who has a love and passion about their work.
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When I get an idea, I start to write like I was electrically motivated.
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I never tell an audience what they can expect. I never have, and I never will.
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I happen to believe in the human condition so strongly that I don't have to make up games to play with people. Here's what I think: If it's good, let's go for it. If it needs work to be better, let's work on it.
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The connection between pathos and broad comedy is very tight. But you do far more work in a comedy scene than you do in a straight scene. It's much harder.
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An only child, I always wanted a large hug-house.
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I almost resent being Charley Moviestar. Yeah, I'm grateful. But it takes me away from my kids.
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Billy Crystal, Steve Martin do wonderful things.
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You would not believe some of the scripts I have seen. I have read something like 160 that I've rejected, and I keep them all, for posterity.
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We're leaving the House to people who either were born with a silver spoon in their mouth... or couldn't get better jobs in the first place.