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This is the pain pacemaker. I've got a battery under my skin. From that battery are two electrodes that go into the spine where they cut bone away to accommodate it. Now I put on the power here. If I have the pain, the stimulator starts. It's tingling, like when your foot falls asleep, you know?
Jerry Lewis -
I can't stand to ask anyone, 'How was that?'
Jerry Lewis
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I never got a formal education. So my intellect is my common sense. I don't have anything else going for me. And my common sense opens the door to instinct.
Jerry Lewis -
I believe when you go out there, you have a responsibility to deliver. I have old-fashioned thinking when I'm out there.
Jerry Lewis -
Every day is another something that comes along.
Jerry Lewis -
There's nothing more dramatic than the comedy I've done. Because the comedy I've done is to get to the audience, get them to feel it, or they won't laugh.
Jerry Lewis -
When I was onstage doing the work, adrenaline killed the pain because I never hurt in front of an audience.
Jerry Lewis -
A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world.
Jerry Lewis
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I really am opinionated, but not for long. I have found myself coming off of what I think of something because the guy I'm talking to makes better sense than I am. I have so many points of view, I can't keep track of 'em, because I talk to too many people... I'm not so opinionated that I won't budge.
Jerry Lewis -
I have some very personal feelings about politics, but I don't get into it because I do comedy already.
Jerry Lewis -
I've had great success being a total idiot.
Jerry Lewis -
Going unnoticed has never been my strong suit.
Jerry Lewis -
God hadn't made me handsome, but he'd given me something, I always felt: funny bones.
Jerry Lewis -
Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay in your house!
Jerry Lewis
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I've never been more than 9 years old.
Jerry Lewis -
I don't like any female comedians.
Jerry Lewis -
My Judaism has always been a great pride with me.
Jerry Lewis -
You can't be faulted for being selfish if you're going to get better because of it.
Jerry Lewis -
I got the 'Max Rose' script, and I fell in love with it. It just hit me. It was something that needed to be made.
Jerry Lewis -
Seeing a woman project the kind of aggression that you have to project as a comic just rubs me wrong.
Jerry Lewis
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I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe.
Jerry Lewis -
Commercial television has underestimated the intelligence of the public.
Jerry Lewis -
I think the cartoons that they're children are watching, particularly 'The Simpsons,' they're OK. I think that the adult audience is making much too much of the danger that they imply. That's not the case. The danger for children today, honey, is the news. Keep them away from news on television.
Jerry Lewis -
I get paid for what most kids get punished for.
Jerry Lewis