Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Sometimes being lazy can get you in trouble. You ever not take a shower all weekend, just lounge around, then you're running late for work on Monday? There's always one person at work: "Something smells like smoke in here!" "Uh, I went to a barbeque on Friday night. Only had 48 hours to take a shower. Busy."
Jim Gaffigan
Quotes to Explore
For me, I can't watch violence when it's too grotesque, and it's just like, that's revolting to watch. I don't enjoy it. But when it's a Tarantino film, I'm lining up outside the door to see it, and I'm expecting to see something really crazy, a lot of blood, and for it to be funny.
Aaron Taylor-Johnson
My mom is awesome. She's really young. My mom is 40, and she raised me listening to Nirvana and Courtney Love and Coldplay, Gin Blossoms, The Cranberries, and stuff. Like, my early, early memories are of being a little kid running around in floral skirts and Doc Martens when I was, like, three.
Halsey
My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.
Vanessa Bayer
A monopoly is like running on firm ground. Nothing compels you to move, but if you do, you move forward. The faster you run, the more scenery you see - so you have some incentive to run fast.
Raghuram Rajan
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
Abraham Lincoln
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Abraham Lincoln
My target audience is anyone who finds the world interesting and human behavior fascinating, terrible, inspiring, funny, and occasionally, mysterious.
Amy Bloom
I shaved my head when I was 14 - is that bad? I asked my dad's permission first. He said, 'You're gonna look like a boy.' And I said, 'OK'... then I did it anyway. All through high school, I had a shaved head and I'd dye it crazy colors - it was fun.
Brea Grant
If sitcoms were easy to write, there'd be a lot of good ones, and there aren't.
Alexei Sayle
Without the Constitution and the Union, we could not have attained the result; but even these, are not the primary cause of our great prosperity. There is something back of these, entwining itself more closely about the human heart. That something, is the principle of "Liberty to all" the principle that clears the path for all-gives hope to all-and, by consequence, enterprize [sic], and industry to all.
Abraham Lincoln
Sometimes being lazy can get you in trouble. You ever not take a shower all weekend, just lounge around, then you're running late for work on Monday? There's always one person at work: "Something smells like smoke in here!" "Uh, I went to a barbeque on Friday night. Only had 48 hours to take a shower. Busy."
Jim Gaffigan
