Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. 'Cause the appetizer's just an excuse for an extra meal. You're always like "Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings...and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? 'Cause I don't wanna fill up too much."
Quotes to Explore
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If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
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People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
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A mate of mine told me recently, 'It's the first time I've seen you work, Worthington.' I thought that was quite funny, but he was right.
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Scott Foley was always fun because he's a very funny guy. So I liked working with him a bunch.
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Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
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It's so funny: at 'SNL,' Bill Hader always kind of treated me like his little sister and would kind of, like, lovingly bully me.
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Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody.
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I like children - fried.
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Turns out you have a really fun time if you go to work every day and focus on being silly and funny and happy!
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I like working on stories where I can explore the darker corners of childhood without illustrations but with humor.
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I was extremely lucky that I had two great wives. It sounds a bit funny to say that, but it's absolutely true.
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Being funny is a symptom of what's underneath. You're pumping out all that energy because something else is going on inside you, some opposing force, something uncomfortable.
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I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.
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It's funny, we all really, really got along. I don't know how it was in years past but this year, I was really with a good group of people. No one tried to sabotage each other or steal the other ones moments.
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I love the studio audience. That's where I feel the most at home. You know right away if you're being funny or not.
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I think if you're trying to be funny, sometimes you're bending a piece of metal in a direction it doesn't want to go. And sometimes comedy just needs to find itself.
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My wife's a loving, funny, Irish-spirited person, and I'm still surprised at some of the things she says. She makes me laugh every day.
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There are the horror fans that love the 'Evil Dead' because of the humor, but I'm sure it's not all of them. Not all horror fans love 'Evil Dead' because of the humor, at least not me.
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I look at old performance videos now, and it's really funny - I thought I was such a gangster!
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Fencing is a funny sport. Competitive fencing is not really very applicable to the stage world unless you're fighting with a rapier during the Renaissance, you know?
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Twelve years ago, if someone attacked me, I wouldn't let them get away with it. I'd take them on. I now perceive my job to include allowing people to vent their rage.
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The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful.
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Like all fairy tales, the story of Sleeping Beauty begins with 'Once upon a time,' and continues with a foolish young princess who makes a witch very angry, and then takes a nap until her boyfriend wakes her up with a kiss and insists on getting married, at which point the story ends with the phrase 'happily ever after.'
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Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. 'Cause the appetizer's just an excuse for an extra meal. You're always like "Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings...and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? 'Cause I don't wanna fill up too much."
