Jim Gaffigan Quotes
My wife always asks me why I don't make the bed. And I respond with the same reason why I don't tie my shoes after I take them off.

Quotes to Explore
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As you know with the Arab Spring, there were no dividends.
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Writers have an opinion about the world and offer arguments about the world. They should offer contemplation.
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Montenegro belongs to a rare number of countries that have managed to make progress on every internationally recognisable indicator.
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In the governments, as we've witnessed in the past, they had to hide. Because there's a lot of concentration on the friends-and-family club... We're not about that. That's not the government of the future of the State of New York. What's gonna pull this state out of the doldrums that it's in right now is an honest and open government.
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To avoid being mistaken for a sellout, I chose my friends carefully. The more politically active black students. The foreign students. The Chicanos. The Marxist professors and structural feminists and punk-rock performance poets.
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Any time you get two people in a room who disagree about anything, the time of day, there is a scene to be written. That's what I look for.
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You will never cease to be the most amazed person on earth at what God has done for you on the inside.
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I have a Stella McCartney Adidas sports bra. I feel like I'm totally comfortable running. No problem. I have support where I need it.
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Jim Thompson understood something about the serial killer before the psychology caught up to it, which is that they are detached to it and they do want to get caught.
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One of two historically African American communities that sprang up along the Mississippi Gulf Coast after emancipation, North Gulfport has always been a place where residents have had fewer civic resources than those extended to other outlying communities.
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Most of my songs start out as being very aggressive and guitar-driven.
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There is evidence that some of al Qaeda's nuclear efforts over the years met with swindles and false leads.
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A 'conservative believer' must be someone who believes that Jesus was truly human as well as truly divine.
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A nation's culture resides in the hearts and in the soul of its people.
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Starting in the third grade, my dad had me read the 'Denver Post.' I had to discuss two articles with him before dinner, and we would also watch '60 Minutes' together.
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Wherever there is danger, there lurks opportunity; whenever there is opportunity, there lurks danger. The two are inseparable. They go together.
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People that don't know me get 'Mossed'. It means, I was gonna go home, but then I just got led astray. In the best possible way, of course. I mean, it's always fun, and a good time.
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We cannot do everything at once, but we can do something at once.
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John ā Iām trying to find the Island in the West. Sensible ā You refer, no doubt to some aesthetic experience.
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My wife and I now live in the summers in northern Michigan in an environment which is wonderfully conducive to research, and where most of my work in the last 15 years has been done.
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I think real life couples on screen are kind of deadly. For the most part, they're kind of deadly. You'd be surprised. Unless they're falling in love onscreen for the first time, you don't have quite the same energy for some reason.
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I'm a melancholy person. It's how I'm always going to be.
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By and large, talent is in such short supply that mediocrity can be taken for brilliance rather more than genius can go undiscovered.
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My wife always asks me why I don't make the bed. And I respond with the same reason why I don't tie my shoes after I take them off.